This is the place I’m supposed to talk myself up and convince the world that I’m the most awesome person on Earth. Shall I get started? Okay. I once ran a marathon barefoot while simultaneously decorating a wedding cake, I kicked the moon and only broke two bones in the process, I can survive indefinitely on sunlight and water, I paint portraits of celebrity pets, I cured cancer and eradicated poverty, and I just recently figured out how to retrofit any compact sedan with jets that are both economical enough and efficient enough to blast it into outer space for under $20. Not getting sucked into the vacuum of space is on you, I’m only a rocket scientist – not a fucking astronaut.
Wow, that person is cool! Too bad it’s not me.
I started this blog in some year after 2010 during a time of great personal upheaval. I was sick and had no idea what the future had in store for me. After much resistance, I finally went to the doctor where I assumed whatever was wrong with me could be fixed. Since then, the scene is constantly changing; constantly forcing me to adapt. I have a very complicated collection of diseases that are trying their best to steal my will to live before stealing my life. The short list: Crohn’s disease, Gastroparesis, chronic kidney disease and peripheral neuropathy – possibly related to my recent Neuromyelitis Optica diagnosis. This amounts to a love of finer toilet paper, surgery, lots of drugs, severe malnutrition, an intimate relationship with emesis basins, dialysis, and chronic, often severe pain, muscle weakness/spasms, and gait problems.
The longer I was unwell, the smaller my support network became. Friends distanced themselves because I made them uncomfortable and I distanced myself even further because I hated making them feel uncomfortable. When your entire life revolves around doctor’s appointments and tests, there isn’t much else to talk about. In the end, it was down to my husband (even he struggles to cope being stuck in the same house as me) and a few select family members. I felt extremely alone and isolated.
Enter: Polishing Dookie
This is my space to talk honestly about what goes on in my life and what I struggle with, often times with a shit-ton of swear words, dark humor, and copious amounts of sarcasm. I can’t promise you’ll love what I have to say and I can’t promise I won’t offend you, but I can promise I’ll be authentic; as awkward and weird as I authentically am. I welcome you to interact with me as often as or as little as you like. Not only is this a place for me to be myself, it’s a place for others to do the same. It’s a safe place, free of judgment.
If you’d like to contact me directly, click the “contact me” tab.
Note: this is my fifth revision. See above; “constantly changing”. I’m not the same person I was when I started this blog or even the same person I was six months ago. Kara version 3.5 has a much darker outlook and hopes it passes.