For the birds

I finally have some good news.  I had my follow-up with GI yesterday, and it seems steroids did a body good.  I’ll forgive them for giving me hospital acquired plague since they actually did what they were supposed to.  Intestinal swelling is down to a minimum now, so I can start tapering down.  That means NO surgery!  Yes!  I am so relieved.  I was diagnosed with gastroparesis and given pills for that (tardive dyskinesia sounds like an awesome potential drug reaction).  It seems bizarre that my stomach has the opposite motility issues my bowels do, and also seems counterproductive to be prescribing me something that will increase the rapid intestinal transit even more, but we picked the worst symptom and are addressing it. He told me to discontinue any type of oral vitamin supplementation since absolutely everything seems to shred my stomach and eventually leads to lurching all over.  I have at least another few iron infusions left, so I’ve been slated to receive IV multi’s at the same time.  I’m so happy to receive a bit of good news.  I needed it baaaaad.  I think yesterday was the first time I walked out of the GI clinic with a smile instead of a frown.

Now it’s house sitting time!  I’m hoping to connect with a few people while I’m “home”, although it’s going to be a quick trip so we’ll see who can squeeze in some k-time.  I left directly from my appointment yesterday evening since it was on the way anyhow, and traffic was….uh…DC traffic.  Terrible enough to make you think you’ll actually get irritated to the point your heart will stop.  I love it.

My normal drive time is 6:15.  Last night I managed to make it in 9 hours.

Issue #1.  GPS.  My reliance on technology is bad.  Google redirected my route and sent me back tracking an hour.  Whoops?

Issue #2.  I was hunting for food.  I must have pulled off the turnpike 4 times before I committed to Taco Bell.  The cantina bowl isn’t bad for fast food.

Issue #3.  All of the stops required AFTER eating Taco Bell

Issue #4.  I hit fog when I was in the home stretch.

By midnight I was singing along with music at the top of my lungs and very lucky to stay in my lane because I was so blasted.  I buried myself in pillows and blankets no more than 10 minutes after I arrived.  Post-travel sleep can go either way for me, sometimes I get amped up, but thankfully last night I insta-coma’d.


This morning I was greeted by an eager attack hound.  She was so excited to see me, she kinda sorta peed on the bed.  All is forgiven.  Sometimes I get so excited I could pee, so I understand it.


…and I finally got to meet Charlie, aka Foie Gras.  It took him a little while to warm up to me, and then he decided the person with the bananas can’t be totally bad.  He’s a very friendly fellow, and man does he have a set of pipes.  He also shits on everything, like birds do.  I’ve been tasked with training him to poop on command while he’s out of his cage.  Believe it or not, it’s doable.  I had a little Green Cheek who picked it up in less than a week, and didn’t have a single ‘accident’ outside of her cage thereafter.  He’s still very young, so I’m making an effort to NOT add any unsavory words to his lexicon.  I don’t think my parents would appreciate him yelling “fuck off” at the grandkiddos.

In parting, a few words of gibberish from monsieur Foie Gras..

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