“It’s fucking glitter!”

I’m a little delirious.  I woke up feeling like my brain was dipped in beer batter, then deep fried.

I missed roller derby boot camp again this year, so it looks like my participation will be limited to volunteer work if I can even manage that.  I collected all of my gear, dusted it off, and packed it away in a storage tote.  I could make a few dollars on ebay if I were to sell it, but I’m not ready to give up on it.

Manchild got home from work, greeted me, and asked me why I was giving him the critical eye.  I swear he had glitter on his face.  He went into the bathroom and looked, then said he’s afraid to admit what I saw was probably white hair stubble and not glitter.  Yeah, right.  I know he’s a stripper on the side.

Both of the computers are in the office now, which is nice because we can ignore each other while in the same room when we aren’t comparing farts.  The couple that farts together, stays together.

I had an elaborate meal planned out for tomorrow that consists entirely of sides and pie, but neither one of us has had the energy to do a full grocery run.  We decided we’d be lazy by ordering a ton of pizza and sides tonight and eating whatever’s leftover tomorrow for Thanksgiving dinner.  By the time my order was tallied up, it was $78 for two people before tip.  Whoa!  Two pizzas, a veggie sub, a dozen bbq wings, cinnamon sticks, two side salads, and 2 liters of coke is almost 80 dollars?  That didn’t happen.

As he was hovering over me trying to decide what to do, his face started to sparkle again.

“It’s fucking glitter!”

“Um, no it isn’t.  I’m old.  It’s old person facial hair.”

“But your face is sparkling!”

“You’re insane.”

Then he left for the grocery store.  I guess in the future if I need him to run errands, I only have to make him feel self-conscious about his glitter.

7 thoughts on ““It’s fucking glitter!”

  1. It’s hard to give bad news. It’s even harder to be honest with someone who can’t seem to see the truth that’s right in front of their eyes. I mean, who am I to go around breaking bad news and spreading truth? I’m just some stranger on the internet. But… I’m just gonna say it… Your husband is obviously an alien (that sparkles). 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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