So long 2015

2013 was the year of suck. 2014 I started losing hope, and 2015 may have been the year I finally started to accept my illnesses and live the life I was blessed (or cursed) with, rather than watching life pass me by while waiting for that magic cure that will most likely never come.  I spent most of the year alone, and it was as empowering as it was challenging.  I was able to really focus on what I could do for myself without distractions, and I’m glad I had the time to figure out my capabilities, as well as my limitations.

Life certainly is more stressful with my husband home, but 90% of it is good stress.  Dealing with his ‘isms’, while reminding myself that no one can make me laugh as hard as he can.  We are two fucked up peas in a pod, and I love it.  I hope he does too.  It can’t be easy being married to someone like me.

I started a new drug for Crohn’s not too long ago, and I’m keeping my fingers, toes, and eyes crossed that I see remission in 2016.  I’d also like to start taking classes again, if possible.  Manchild jokingly said I should be a doctor, since I seem to know more than the ones I’ve encountered, but let’s be serious – I don’t have the energy or brains to make it through medical school.  Nope.  I’m still looking at dietetic programs, because food as medicine is my jam (even though I’m terrible at self-treatment).

Even if schooling doesn’t begin this year, I definitely want to make an effort to get out more (hopefully made possible when crohn’s efs off) and explore the neat area I now call home.  Oh, and I want a dog.  Probably more than anything else.  Big brown eyes are good for convincing significant others to do things they may not want.

In 2015, I started blogging more, and wow did it feel good.  An awesome part of it has been interacting with some amazing people, and I love the feeling of community here.  With that being said, I wish you all a happy, healthy(ish), and fulfilling new year.

Love to all,

Kara

12 thoughts on “So long 2015

  1. Acceptance feels good, doesn’t it? Still, it seems a little early for you to be giving up. Well, not giving up, but so many patients go through years and years (and years) of searching… Perhaps you’re not done searching yet… Maybe you just need a break. Happy New Year, dude. 😀

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  2. I understand that when you are chronically ill, there are just gonna be those days that seem so bad and you just don’t think you have it in you to hold onto hope. Been there, done that, sure I’ll do it, again.

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  3. I was not done…………..this damn thing keeps sending before I’m done, today. I’m not sure what’s up with that. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, when I’m having one of those giving up kinda days, I allow myself to have my little pity party for one. I get it out of my system, and then I get back on track. As far as the dog goes, go for it. My dog has gotten me through some really rough times when no one else could even begin to understand. She stays by my side and I pretend she knows what my problem is because she can cure it whatever it is……………………Happy New Year, to you. Hope it’s a “better” one for you. Take care. 🙂

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    • Haha, I do that too when I use my phone instead of the computer. Hope is fluid..sometimes it’s strong, and others it’s barely there. I actually sort of enjoy breakdowns. Probably seems weird to most, but it feels damn good to get it all out. Of course, not feeling like I need to lose my shit to “feel better” is always nice. I hope 2016 has more good days than not-so-good days for you! I’ll be following along. 🙂

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      • When chronically ill, we have a lot of shit to deal with. It builds and builds and then we gotta let er go! Rid ourselves of all the negative energy we’ve been storing up in our heads. I always, always feel better after my pity party for one. I don’t really enjoy the fact that I have the need to have these pity parties, but it is what it is, and if I feel better when I’m done, I know it needed to be done. It does feel damn good to get it all out. We can then start collecting, again, in preparation for our next pity party! LOL LOL 🙂 funny, but ever so true. You have to be like us to understand this. Thanks for following. I’m looking forward to following and walking the journey alongside you! Goodnight for now. I’ll be back around, soon. 🙂

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  4. Do you have gastroparesis? I do, and I currently have a feeding tube. This time around it’s been a year and a half, so far. Do you have a feeding tube? If so, what kind? I have a JG PEG tube. I know this is kinda random, but I just saw gastroparesis on the left side of your blog page. I don’t know many people with gastroparesis and at times I feel so all alone with that issue. Goodnight for now. Take care. xx 🙂

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    • I do have gastroparesis, but it’s usually mild and responds well to prokinetics and a lower fiber diet. There are times when nothing gets through, but they’re short in duration – no longer than a couple of weeks which is a bit odd, haven’t heard of other people bouncing between mild and moderately severe gastroparesis, have you?

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      • Actually, I have. There was a girl in my son’s grade and when she was in high school she was diagnosed with gastroparesis. We talked a little here and there and offered each other words of encouragement. The last I heard she was doing a lot better and hadn’t been hospitalized or needed another feeding tube in about 2 years. She had the NG tubes, several times, not long term, though, like me. They say there is no cure for gastroparesis and you may have times of being kind of in a “remission-like”state, but it’ll always come back. It could be a month, 3 months, 3 years, a year. I don’t think there’s a whole lot known about gastroparesis. When I go to the ER with gastroparesis/feeding tube issues, they simply don’t have even the slightest clue as to what to do. I’ve been hospitalized, many times, for other things and they would not give me my tube feedings. I told the nurse, the last time I was in the hospital, that I knew damn good and well that I was not the only person in that hospital with gastroparesis and a feeding tube. Now, I do understand that it’s usually little bitty 90 year old women that have the feeding tubes. I can’t be normal, so I must join the geriatric folks whether I’m ready or not because my body is ready. My body is about 30 years older than my actual age. Isn’t that funny???? LOL I recently, 6 months ago, had a total hip replacement because I have avascular necrosis in both hips. I was in the hospital for a week after the surgery and then I was told that I did not qualify to go to an inpatient rehab for rehabing my hip and leg, because I require too much care!!!! Excuse me, but I thought those were the kind of people that needed those kinds of facilities. They said I could go to a skilled nursing facility, but I’m a nurse, so I know damn good and well what a skilled nursing facility is. They weren’t fooling me with that verbage!!! They wanted me to go to a damn nursing home for rehab. I refused. I’ll be needing the nursing home soon enough, let’s not push it, people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, I sure hope you’re gastroparesis waxes and wanes, rather than going into full on severe gastroparesis 24/7, 365 days a year. 🙂

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