Am I the only one who thinks MRI machines sound like a Daft Punk song (the Technologic video is where all nightmares are born)? They ask if I want music or earplugs, and I choose earplugs because it makes its own music. And fyi, it’s a very bad idea to eat sauerkraut before you have an MRI. I didn’t know I was having one, so I wasn’t able to plan to avoid dutch oven. The perks and curse of being married to the diagnostic imaging bossman. I didn’t schedule my MRI before holiday break, and apparently available appointments are 3 weeks out, at a minimum. You know me, I said fuck it. I don’t really need it, and I don’t really feel like laying there trying not to twitch for 40 minutes. So. Boring. I felt crummy when I woke up this morning, and my eyes were practically swollen shut from all of the pressure in my booger factory. It’s the kind of day I want to lay around with my eye pillow and listen to music, but no ma’am-dude-siree-bob, I got a text from manchild which read, “MRI at 2”
Bad timing, man. Always bad timing. I could be grateful he was able to get me squeezed in before the apocalypse, yet I was irritated. I could say he’s better at adulting than I am, but I have no idea what behaviors constitute adultiness. I’m a responsible spender, he is not. He’s the one with a job, I’m the one who owns all of the tshirts a 12 year old would wear. Maybe the only thing that defines adulthood is being over the age of 18. The point is, I want to be in control of my exposure to healthcare so I can plan (procrastinate) appropriately. Like, I dunno, not put a half pound of kraut on my baked potato to avoid ass-phyxiation.
I went, I waited, I climbed aboard and conquered. I got my very first in-person radiologist reading by the same guy who missed my broken tibia on xray in June, granted the tibial fracture was completely obscured by edema. Long story short, stenosis was confirmed thanks to a bulging disc and a herniated disc. Wow, I really did slip a disc while I was on the toilet. Awesome.
His opinion is that that problems with my legs has nothing to do with the problems in my spine, considering my hands are also involved. The back pain feels way different…like it hurts where it’s hurt, or hurts where it hurts, then radiates downward. Not all over the place, all of the time. It’s the kind of pain that makes sense to me. That doesn’t make it any more pleasant, other than the ability to actually SEE what’s causing the pain so doctors can shove their skepticism where the sun don’t shine most of the time. Peripheral neuropathy is a bit more obscure. I excel at vague and obscure.