From suck to blown

I managed a 90 minutes nap between early morning labwork and morning rounds.  I had the lamest dream that I was tiling a bathroom.  I’m sure it has something to do with staring at the floor most of the night whilst on the toilet (have I mentioned how much my bowels hate saline? am I alone on this one?).

After speaking with the intern and resident this morning, I didn’t know much of anything new.  It’s possible since starting cimzia that my platelet production has gone done, and it’s only mildly low, so unlikely to be the actual cause.  BUT, clotting times were significantly longer than normal.  Vitamin A, C, E, and I think K are being tested, but the other stuff is send out so I won’t know the results for another week.  My hematologist told them to throw another 2 units of blood at me, so that happened.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out I have a bleeding problem.  I’ve blown three IV’s, and they’re running out of places to stick me, so the new one in the side of my arm had better stay put.

My CNP from the endo clinic said my estrogen/progesterone actually look really good. Prolactin was high?  Gotta look that one up. Cortisol was low along with adrenocorticotropin hormone (I’m full of 20 dollar terms), and thyroid stimulating hormone was really low, but the circulating thyroid hormones were either normal or low, meaning it’s most likely euthyroid sick syndrome.  They’ve used this term before.  I guess it means some of my endocrine glands are shutting down because I’m sick, but I’m not sick as a result of them shutting down.  Does that make sense?  It does to me, but I’m not very good at explaining these things.

Dr. P, the beantard, sent one of her minions to talk to me about my acute kidney injury.  She wants to keep me on fluids and electrolytes for the next 24 hours, then see where we’re at then.  I actually don’t feel too bad, which makes it even more difficult to keep myself from sneaking out and running away.  Even if the cimzia is screwing with my qi in some not so great ways, it really does feel like my GI stuff has settled quite a bit.  Tears of joy, my friends.  Or tears of exhaustion because I can’t stop yawning.  And now you’re yawning because I said the ‘y’ word twice. 😉

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I managed to keep my linner keto-ish.  I didn’t order (or eat) the brown puck of mystery meat under the cheese and mayo.  I guess I look hungry?  The salmon is impressively palatable for being hospital food, although I’m sure the tzatziki helped.  It’s taking all of my strength to not order the chocolate chunk brownie.  It’s ridiculous how difficult it is to eat healthy in a hospital.  That seems fucked up, eh?

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15 thoughts on “From suck to blown

  1. Ouch 😨 those pics look painful. Defo order the chocolate brownie 🍩. That food actually looks pretty decent, I’ve had rice pudding which could have been used as wall filler lol. Hope you keep feeling better 👍

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  2. The food really is decent, for the most part. The chocolate brownie is about as big as my face, and guaranteed to send me on a wild blood sugar roller coaster. Sheesh, now I’m salivating.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I feel your pain on blowing the IVs over and over. I managed to blow every single vein in both arms in one hospital stay and turned into the whiniest patient ever begging them not to blow my last stick in my left hand when they had to push antibiotics every 4 hours.
    I hope you get to escape soon! *gentle hugs*

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  4. I’m not yawning because I don’t yawn. And fortunately for me, my bowels are indifferent to things like saline.

    But that disgusting food reminds me of a past hospital stay… After I had TMJ surgery, I was served a small, fat steak. (I think that was the last time I ate steak.) I popped a couple of pain pills and ate that sucker. In fact, trying to get a soft diet at the hospital is almost impossible, unless all you need is jello. 🙂

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    • You rebel, you. I’ve asked nurses, and doctors about the IV induced trots, and they look at me like the I’m the weirdo I am.

      Cow flesh after tmj surgery? That was mighty smart of them :/

      At this hospital, they’ll take anything on the menu and masticate it in a blender. A steak dinner smoothie *gags*. I’m sure it appeals to someone out there.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m reminded of the Friends episode where Monica made a dessert with ladyfingers and ground meat, which Joey loved. 🙂

        Saline sounds like a fairly simple thing, doesn’t it? But I’m sure there are plenty of preservatives and other chemicals in your IV, any of which could set off your delicate system.

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  5. Not only did you make me yawn, my arm veins dove down in sympathy just looking at your poor arms. That always happens to me too.

    Does my favorite horsepiddle meal of French toast with scrambled or fried egg on top and syrup poured over it all sound good? Texas hold ’em French toast is on your menu, whatever that is.

    What is a beantard when it’s at home, anyway? Are they allowed to practice medicine? And did you notice the Kara-inspired-isms in my posts?

    Has MC brought your own toilet paper? I’m also worried about your platelet production…did you really mean it’s “done gone” ? Maybe you are getting a drawl. Fresh bloood goood, yes? You’ll need another unit if those IV nurses don’t get it together!

    XOVivia
    p.s. it’s MS and one or two other boring conditions

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Well, slap my ass and call me biscuit, I meant “gone down”. Haha. I’ll just leave it like that and blame all of my future typos on the alien blood. The beantards are actually my favorites when it comes to the specialists, but I’m angry with her for not clearing me to be discharged today, so she gets a special pet name. Sorta like when I told my Mom I hated her because she wouldn’t let me watch Free Willy for the 20th time. I’ve always wanted to steal a whale from a theme park. One day…

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  7. well then I could have used you when I headed up the Greenpeace anti orca captivity campaigns for Greenpeace . I bet you also loved my fuzzy little bosses, for ten years, the harp seal pups.

    and I knew it was “gone down” … just trying to be humorous (fail!) it’s hard to match wits with you funny girl.

    Liked by 1 person

    • If that’s the truth, I might have to worship you. When I see a picture of a seal, it makes me want to punch something because the level of cute is just too much to handle. And you made me guffaw, so we’re cool. No humor fail! 😉

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      • If I’m lying, Canadians should club me to death. Not really funny, because many of them would like to. We stopped the two massive hunts that were my job (Alaskan fur seal in the Pribilof Islands and the harp seal pup clubbing), but now the latter is back as ever. now because seals eat fish and we can’t have that now that the hosers have crashed the once “infinite” fisheries. I was so happy for years and more every March I want to shed my non violent principles and kick some Newfie ass.

        Orca issue…it has taken over 30 years of fighting Sleaze World and their ilk to get the public to give a damn and notice there have been dozens of Shamus® …we blocked captures physically and did shut down some such whale jails e.g. SeaLand in Victoria, B.C., , but the captors just ran off to Iceland after they were banned from here. Fucking pirates actually killed a almost as many as they caught…some were slit, filled with rocks and sunk mafia style to hide their crimes.

        It’s Vivia Boe if you want to Google me, glad to know ya and feel better xo

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