Smarty-pants tries on stupid. It fits.

It’s a day where I reply to everything with an emotionally charged “fuck off and die”.  I’m not normally a nasty person, but I do have my moments.  I suspect the following picture might illustrate why it seems like I’ve got a cactus up my ass.


685ML of insta-bitch brew consumed

I like wine.  It’s delicious.  It’s also meant to be sipped in small amounts, not through a straw in a 24 ounce tumbler.  My bad.  This is obviously on the very long list of stupid things Kara has done.  Today my head is killing me and I’m a lot less tolerant of my husband’s lack of common sense, practicality, rationality, and basically everything about him.  He speaks, I feel like saying ‘fuck off and die’, but I haven’t.  Yet.

This afternoon we finally figured out why the guest room smells like piss and has for the past few months.  I washed sheets, febreezed the mattress, carpet, sprayed ozium, but the smell keeps coming back.  I’ve theorized that it’s probably the neighbor stank oozing through the common wall.  Being in ‘fuck off and die’ mode, I pulled the carpet and padding up next to the shared wall, and in the back corner there’s a wet smelly stain on the sub-flooring, presumably from next door, because I certainly haven’t peed on the floor.  They don’t have a dog, and it doesn’t smell like cat urine, so I can only assume their allegedly potty-trained child is pissing in the corner of his bedroom, and it’s soaking through.  Fucking nasty.

I’m not even going to bother talking to them about it.  I’ll call maintenance, tell them my theory, and they can take care of it.  I suck at dealing with conflict without making people angry.


6 thoughts on “Smarty-pants tries on stupid. It fits.

  1. I got an amazing three hour nap out of the experience, so at least there’s that. So tired of not sleeping. If only there was a way to put my lights out without drugs or buckets of alcohol.

    Staying warm in campervanland? How much snow did you get?


    • Well that all sucks. I really think you should go for acupuncture. It can solve so many issues. Like sleep, for instance. I have to brag that I worked with a patient whose colon, according to the asshole who did his colonoscopy, was “shot.” He was scheduled for colectomy. He put it off for a while, and I treated him 3x/week, and he follow ed the diet and the herbs I prescribed exactly, because clearly he didn’t want to lose his colon. At his six month follow up colonoscopy, he had 50% improvement. After one year he had occasional patches, but mostly normal. Unfortunately, he abandoned the diet and herbs, and started getting these horrid infections on his legs. So from that I learned that this stuff really works like a medicine, you have to keep doing it. Not the acupuncture, but the diet and herbs. Why not, you do so many other things, some very unpleasant. Ash, life! How sweet it is (irony font here)!


  2. A GP friend of mine used to toss off. a rapid “fuck off and die, strongly-worded letter to follow” which cracked me up so much I use it still. to my husband mostly.

    Hey, I’ll take your bimalleolar ankle fracture and raise you my trimalleolar dislocated ankle. which earned me two weeks (more than breast cancer and fractured back) in the hospital waiting for swelling to go down enough for surgery. I was walking my dog alone in a wooded area sans cellphone and had to call out help! Help! No choice when your foot is hanging backward. Fortunately two nonhomicidal strangers heard me and called an ambulance. The woman in the bed next to me had fallen in her kitchen like you, had surgery too early at a military hospital (Madigan), consequently transferred to Seattle where her foot was amputated. I saw them bring the artificial one in to try it! I’m sure that was why they were so leery of mine…little thing called compartment syndrome. You poor kid though, having that happen when you had had such a terrible day and were feeling better, just to have snap! happen.

    My cast was purple too. I also tripped over NOTHING having just said to my blind German shepherd “ok, walk this way…” Snap!

    Hope you feel better. Hangovers are the worst.


    • but not as bad as neighbor pee coming through your wall to soak your carpet!! that kid has problems…another reason not to give birth !!


    • Holy hell, that sounds awful. Did they fix you up good? And a back fracture? Do you play rugby or something? (and boo cancer!)

      I’m pretty sure I broke my ass when I tried to use crutches. I’m about as agile as a slug. Husband hijacked my xrays and consulted with one of the radiologists (major hipaa violation), and she said the fracture was surgical. Now that it’s all healed up, my foot points outward, my arch has collapsed, and my tibia feels like it’s broken again from the talus constantly rubbing against it. Oh well, my ankle can fuck off and die. 😉


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