My spirit animal is all of them

When I was in my early 20’s, my soft spot for animals was larger than my living space, but that didn’t stop me from spending 3/4 of my paycheck to run a small animal sanctuary/rescue.  Probably the craziest animal I ever cared for and eventually rehomed was a full grown Savannah Monitor.  Animal control trapped him in someone’s garage and ended up cutting his tail off in the process.  Mozilla was 3 feet long without his tail!  He was relatively mellow while I nursed him back to health, but once the funk wore off he was full of piss and vinegar.  I’m sure he could’ve eaten a small child.  I’ve had all sorts of critters in my care.  Birds, lizards, snakes, rats, mice, hamsters (not a fan of those assholes), tarantulas, giant millipedes, guinea pigs, rabbits, ferrets, hedgehogs, and even a short-tailed opossum.  Some found new homes, and some lived out their lives with me.  Needless to say, I love animals and often prefer them to humans. 😉

Although most of my pictures have gone missing over time after multiple computer fatalities, I still have a few floating around.  Picture time!






Cornelius in the middle, and his two asshole kids.


Little turtle dude


Quackie the Quaker Parrot


Quackie had a foul mouth.  NOT my fault 😉


Devo, African Grey


Coolest, and smartest birds ever


Webster, Maximillian’s Pionus

2010-04-25 15.36.55

Fun factoid: male birds are prone to bad mood swings once they reach maturity.  Sorta like gender reversed PMS.  Webster was either incredibly sweet, or a total dickwad depending on the moment.


Sid, Green Cheek Conure


She was like a feathered puppy, even house trained


Marge & Homer, Leopard Geckos


Duddits, Brazilian Short-tailed Opossum.  Duddits was one cool dude.


Prehensile tails are totally sweet.

And I saved the best for last…


Lily, Rose hair Tarantula.  Nick was none too happy about the spider being out of the cage.

Believe it or not, Tarantulas make cool, low maintenance pets.  Rose hairs are very docile, unless you’re a cricket.  It was a lot of work, as I had anywhere from 10-15 animals at a time, but it was also fun and good for the soul.  This is the first time in my entire life that I’ve lived without a non-human companion and I gotta tell you, it stinks.

Once upon a time, I was indifferent about keeping birds as pets.  They are wonderful, amazing, intelligent, and interactive creatures, but I’m now of the opinion that taking flight and open sky away from an animal that was born to fly is an awful thing to do.

So, which of the aforementioned animals makes the best pet?  Rats.  If I can’t have a pup, I’ll settle for a rat.  Manchild, if you’re reading this, make it happen!















24 thoughts on “My spirit animal is all of them

  1. Wow, this is so cool. I’m really happy that you shared this part of your life, even though I personally would have passed on the Monitor. Too indiscriminate when it comes to food items. You amaze me.

    What’s the deal with hamsters? I’ve had a few, and besides their Houdini talents, I’ve always had fun with them.

    I could live without tarantulas, too. I murdered a gigantic black bird-eating one in my house in Israel. The first thing I thought when I saw it was “Where’s my gun???” Of course, I wasn’t allowed to have a gun in Israel, which at that moment was a good thing, since all buildings there are made of stone (there isn’t anything else), and the ricochet probably would have killed me.

    Reading what you said about the birds reminds me of you, a little…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You’re spot on about Monitors. They were talking about putting him out of commission because they didn’t know what to do with him, so I opened my big mouth and whisked him away to lizard rehab. Definitely not much emotion other than “WANTMEAT” in those guys. I hated feeding the snakes and larger lizards, but that’s life.

    Maybe it’s that I got reject hamsters that were turned in for biting their kid owners, or that a nice hamster is a rare thing. I had a little ‘black bear’ hamster that was sweet as could be, but the rest were tough to work with.

    Ick, I’ve seen photos of bird eaters and they creep me out. I bet they make quite a crunch when you throw a cinder block at them! 😡

    I do have bird-like mood swings and am unhappy when caged 😉


    • My former husband brought home some leftover black hamsters from somebody else’s lab, because they were SO cute and we had a toddler…it was only after they started dying that the asshole thought to ask what they had been used for. It was some awful infectious disease experiment…why it took me another three years to divorce him I cannot fathom…

      I killed the Parvaneet (Hebrew for “hairy,” as they have thick glistening black hair and radiate malevolence) with a huge long handled squeegee, which is what we use to clean the floors, and just to make sure it was dead, dead, I poured a gallon of concentrated bleach on it. The bleach etched the form of the spider with its HUGE fangs into the stone step of my spiral staircase….I visited some friends who moved into that house after I returned to America, and two years later that etching is still there…they don’t know about it, and I sure won’t break the news to them! I don’t think the husband, who is native Israeli and not afraid of much, would mind (in fact he would find it funny) but it might give his wife a turn…But maybe not.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Yes! I had two of them for a brief time. They’re so neat, and easy to care for. I thought they had cute bug faces, but I’m also a little strange.

      We had a Rat Terrier who passed away about two years ago, and my husband has no desire to own another small dog. I thought she was great. I’m still looking into adopting a retired racing Greyhound because it seems they’re professional couch potatoes. After a life of chasing a lure around a track, I would be too. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I am not an animal lover at all .. but not an animal hater either .. I had a cat I loved when I was a kid, it got run over and my mother tried to replace it thinking I wouldn’t know … I did know, RIP Kizzy … but as an adult I inherited a rat that I absolutely adored! Best pet ever! … HER name was Wayne. Wayne liked beer and carrots and bread … she had her own little cage thing in my room and would come out of her hole and have a beer with me! Rats rock ….I hope you get your rat!!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • My very first pet was a siamese cat. Being around a toddler made her a completely neurotic blood thirsty gremlin, so my parents had to give her to and older woman without kids. Even though the cat tried to murder me, I still had a fit when they took her away. Haha.

      Wayne sounds perfect! Jack was extremely affectionate. She tried to make friends with the cat my roommate had, and ended up scaring him. Have you seen a rat chase a cat? It’s some funny shit. “But Scurvy, I just want to love you!!”

      Liked by 1 person

      • My mums flatmate and 2 siamese cats when I was about 5 I think … Starsky and Hutch. ..and those little bastards used to leap out of nowhere, usually aiming for my I hear you with the murder theory!! …it’s normal for temperament though? ! Ha little mongrels … not really the most child friendly pet then!
        And no I have never seen a rat chase a cat! The thought of that made me just about piss myself though … Scurvy sounds like a pussy 😄. ..and Jack sounds lovely !

        Liked by 1 person

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