Bodysnatchers: coming soon to a street near you

It’s a beautiful day in Maryland!  It’s about 60 degrees and sunny, and the sort of day that being trapped indoors feels like karmic punishment.  I sat out on the patio and read for a while until the neighbor kids came out and started interrogating me.  They’re friendly little butt weasels, that’s for sure.

I’m still holding a grudge over my bedroom smelling like urine, because either they, or their Yorkie, have peed in the room that shares a wall with mine and I can still freakin’ smell it.  Maintenance came in and soaked the sub-floor with some sort of commercial pet odor eliminator and that worked for while, but over the past week the same stink is starting to waft through again.  If it smells that bad on this side, I don’t even know how they breathe over there.  I’m inclined to apply for ADA housing so we can have a standalone home instead of a duplex.  Plus wider doorways, no stairs, and grab bars by the toilet and in the bathtub would be awesome.  But moving?  That takes works.  More work than rubbing my lucky pet rock every time I need to walk up and down the stairs, or take a shower.

Okay, back on topic. The kids annoyed me to the point of retreat (and I’ve discussed the possibility of being a Mom? Hahahahaha).

Meanwhile, manchild is in the office having a pity party because he can’t go outside to do car work when other people/kids are out there (and he reeeally wants children?  Again, HA!).  Wait….what?  When did he become antisocial?  That was MY thing.  He’s the friendly one.  I’m the weirdo who creeps around in the dark and spies on the neighbors through the mini-blinds.

Being a nice day, all 5,000 kids who live on our cul-de-sac are out making noise, getting hurt, fighting, eating poo, or whatever it is that kids do these days.  Every time he walks past the front door, he sticks his head out, looks around for other humans, then groans and slams the door.  As funny as it is to see him acting like Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino, it’s not like him at all.  I’m almost positive the bodysnatchers got him.


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