The past couple of days have been good, and I’m not even using the word “good” loosely. I’ve been feeling alright! I managed to get clothes and bedding washed, vacuumed the carpeted areas, cooked REAL food (ate a little), and even got the kitchen cleaned up to the point I’d no longer be embarrassed to have company over. It may not sound like much, but on my end it’s huge amounts of progress in a short amount of time. Pain is still waking me at night when the Tramadol wears off around 2am, but 4 hours of sleep at night, plus an hour during the afternoon isn’t bad at all.
I found a Psychiatrist who also does psychodynamic therapy, and the idea of getting it all taken care of at one place sounds great, so I attempted to get manchild’s approval. He was confused, and asked why I think I even need to see a psychiatrist.
“Kara…you’re fine. Do I need to drag you to Walmart to give you a little perspective?”
Ya know what? He’s right. Lack of exposure has lead to me over-analyzing EVERYTHING. I can’t ignore that my mind is driving me crazy by being in overdrive 24/7, and I’m thinking so much I can’t focus, but that might not necessarily be a bad thing. When my health goes down the crapper, my brain is the first to suffer. It turns into a useless blob in my skull, and I experience everything through a haze. If my health is improving, it makes sense that my brain would be the first to bounce back. Or maybe I’m manic. I’m going to try adding more structure to my days, light exercise a few times a week, and spend more time outside on the patio to get sun and fresh air. All of these have the potential to help quite a bit, and I don’t feel I’m doing myself any favors by throwing more medication into my body if there’s another option. We’ll see how it goes.
Today is the first official day of spring, and it’s spitting snow. I love it! There’s a bottle of Pinot Noir in the fridge with my name all over it and it’s a SMALL one, so even if I drink the whole thing, it shouldn’t make my head implode.
I have way way way too many appointments coming up this week, and I’m not looking forward to them at all. I have an appointment with the hematologist, nephrologist, orthopedist, scheduled liver biopsy, and managed to snag an earlier neuro appointment. That’s a lot. I don’t wanna! Things are about to get crazy here. Consider this a warning. 🙂