3:36am. Wide awake. Pain, insomnia, cramping, and thinking. I haven’t talked to my asshole since he dropped me off. We’ve had a few very abrupt text conversations, to the tune of him answering me the next day or not at all. He has volunteered the information that classes are absolutely terrible and he’s in information and activity overload.
No matter what I say, I get a snarky quip in return, so I’m done. If he wants to “talk”, he can contact me. I don’t have the will to glue his happy back together. He’s on his own. I haven’t complained once about what I’m going through here. That’s the best I can do.
To say I’m tired doesn’t begin to cover it. I visited my parents at a good time for them, because they need my help. It feels nice to be the caregiver for once, but it’s also probably fucking me over. Or it’s good for me, and that’s why I hurt so bad. I suppose the impact will be determined later. I’ve been going out more often and realized when the tachycardia gets really bad, I start having chest pain in addition to the nausea, headache, and unsteadiness. Aren’t I too young for this shit? This is just stupid.
Spasms are getting worse. My thighs and forearms are cramping up, whereas before it was everything below the knee and occasionally hands. It’s a fucking bummer. Muscle relaxants sound divine. I’m on so many anticholinergics and CNS depressants, they probably aren’t even an option.
My muscles feel like they’re on fire, and my bones hurt. I know lack of sleep isn’t helpful, but if I could sleep, I would. Fuck insomnia. I haven’t even gotten into the psychological crap. That’s another story for another day. So, I’m sorry class sucks, manchild. I’ll save all of my complaints for the internet.