It still shocks me how quickly I lose the ability to be active after I get going. For the past few months, I haven’t pushed myself much. There is the odd day that I do, and the aftermath is awful. Call me crazy, but I like to avoid suffering unless of course it isn’t an option. The down time here has been a nice change of pace because I’m only occasionally reminded by someone else that my health is fucked, and it doesn’t count coming from family. I’m aware of it, but something about being hundreds of miles away from my doctors feels good. Like I’ve escaped my illness, in a way.
Then there are times when I actually need those doctors, but can’t get to them. I seem to have picked up an Ohio plague some time this past week, yet I have no idea what it is. It feels like the flu with the aches from head to toe and fever, but I’m less congested than I’ve been (must finally be adapting to the midwest air funk) and I haven’t been ralphing constantly, so it’s not a respiratory or stomach thing. I am short of breath, my guts are being gnawed by cracked out gremlins, and my right kidney area is supah-sore. Not the way to be to convince people that it’s okay to drop me off at my house and fuck off.
There are so many things it could be. I have a running list, but no way of knowing because I don’t own a lab. Drat. I’m a little antsy that I’ve got a fever while on immunosuppressants, which makes me think if it is an infection, it’s probably a gnarly one. I’ll see how I feel tomorrow and hope it’s some sort of inflammatory tantrum that will stop when I’m not kicking my ass.
My brother, nephew, and sister in-law are stopping by today and I’m not sure if I should quarantine myself or be social. If I infect them with a contagious plague, they’ll have something to remember me by. 😉
I’m working on the whole rest and relaxation thing, which includes pumping music directly into my brain so I can block the outside noise. What I can’t hear won’t bother me, right? I almost dropped my phone in the toilet. I need to remember that I don’t require a soundtrack to back my bathroom’ing. I’m plenty musical on my own. Beans, beans, they’re good for your heart..