I’m a rotten, non-compliant patient.  With the exception of my crohn’s/AIH, and anticonvulsant drugs, everything else I take sporadically if the mood strikes me.  I’ve been fighting with GI for about a year over the ppi and cholestyramine I’m supposed to be taking.  I stopped cholestyramine because I couldn’t choke it down any more, and the protonix…well, I have some harebrained ideas about it exacerbating my gastroparesis so I quit that too.  I can tell when I need it.  The burning of gastritis is unmistakable.  That’s not my problem right now.  Reflux is.

“Well, hey ding dong, it’s made for reflux.”

Gosh, quit it with the name calling already, internal antagonist.  I should mention that the reflux improved some when I quit taking it, thus confirming my suspicion that a sluggish stomach needs all of the acid it can get to pulverize the tasty bits floating around in my food bag, rather than propelling it up into my mouth.  All results are subject to my bias.  Maybe I should be taking it, but good luck convincing me of that.

GI doctor of the week is not only pissed off that I’m not taking my medication as prescribed, it also makes him believe something is wrong with my head.  I must be depressed.  Or crazy.  I mean, why else wouldn’t I want to swallow 40 pills plus three glasses of orange flavored horse shit every day?  I’m just exceptionally good at rationalizing faulty logic.  It’s good for my creative spark.

June is shaping up to be a fun month. Read with sarcasm.  The past couple of months have been a real joy as well.  The weekend ended with an overnight stay in the medical doghouse because I had another frickin obstruction.  It was just cheese enchiladas (and beans. D’oh.), for the love of Gouda.  I got many much fluids, and a tube shoved down my snozzle to drain the kara juice and gas.  Feels awful and awesome at the same time.  They released me after I filled a hat with southbound waste.  Hey look, beans!  I’m having another endo balloon dilation next week, since the other one was a smashing success.  I think I had a four month stretch in which I could eat actual food without a resulting intestinal traffic jam.  The caveat being, they want me to spend prep day/night in the hospital to keep the fluids going in an attempt to spare my kidneys.  Moviprep is a violent undertaking in ideal circumstances.  I’m bringing my own tp, for sure.

My husband’s idea is to try to fix me with my bucket of assorted pills in the interim.  He tried to put me on a schedule.  Take drugs A through 103, then repeat.  All stuff I only take periodically.  He must think I need a nap and a fatal arrhythmia.  Or that pain and being allergic to planet earth is causing inflammation to tie my guts into knots.  He means well.  I told him to stick to bones since it’s what he knows.

“But the bottle says to take every 4,6,8 hours, or twice a day.  Why don’t you take them as prescribed?”

1) I don’t trust the drugs, and 2) I don’t trust the doctors, for the most part.  I also had to explain the potential for drug interactions and the fact that most are as needed.  Not just because it’s fun to take them on a schedule.

I’ve got trust issues.  I could even joke that I believe they’re trying to kill me, but am I really joking?  Hmmmm.  What good is the medical system without medicine?  Eh, what good is the medical system WITH medicine?

Just kidding.  Sort of.


9 thoughts on “Jaded

  1. I don’t think anyone stuck taking so many medications should just blindly trust what they’re doctors are feeding them. They’re glorified pill pushers the most of em, hired to ‘diagnose’ and then sell the products the drug reps bring. Any time I get a new ‘miracle’ prescription my doctors assure me are going to help I spend countless hours doing research before I even think of adding it into rotation. Most of the time it seems for the one benefit they end up causing multiple problems. You’re in the right being a cynic about it. I’d trust your judgement a little less if you weren’t 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Holy hell. I’m so sorry your guts are stuck up. You’re such a great writer! You make it sound like a breeze…but I know you must feel like ass. Damn those beans! I ate some yesterday, and now look. Delicious little nuggets from hell.

    You shit in the hat! I would be belly-laughing but for the fact that…you know. In my **light body** I am laughing, just know that.

    I “upgraded” my aging S6 to a brand new and stupid fuck S7, and now of course it doesn’t have its cookies yet, or rather, must get its own cookies, so none of my accounts work properly, including WP notifications. In short, I haven’t been getting yours, even though my settings say I am. We’ll see. I’m about to throw this thing out with the trash, I swear.

    Why in fuck do you have to clean out when you can’t eat anyway? Sheesh. I doubt you’ll be eatin’ any thunder berries between now and then.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I got an s5 last year thinking my crappy little Nexus died after I left it in a hot car for two weeks. The problem was actually T-Mobile taking out the one tower we can connect to here, so we switched to cricket and I gave him the s5. I like the hardware better on the s5…better battery life and screen, but the Samsung software. Ugh. Stock Android is where it’s at. WordPress is probably buggin’. I’ve been having problems with notifications and posts recently. Sorta takes the wind out of my sails. Half of the time I say ‘fuckit’.😃

      LOL, thunder berries. Oh my, I love beans so so much. I failed the fodmap thing twice, because beans. It wasn’t really worth it then, since beans or not, I was still a pooping wonder. But now, well, yeah. Oops. Prep does seem completely unnecessary, but he insists it is. Just a half dose, all of the fun of the full dose with half of the bloat. 💩💨


      • Oh, the Farticon! I’ll have to look for that one. It should be in mine, because we seem to have the same emoji, right?

        Yeah, Samsung is bloated and annoying as hell. They’re going down the same road Apple did. I still have my little box Mac from 1984. It’s worth nothing because I pulled the 128k motherboard and replaced it with 2 MB ROM. No such thing as RAM in those days. Computers still only did exactly what you told them to do. That’s the way I like it. I certainly don’t want my fucking computer changing my good grammar into mistakes behind my back the way i-oh-fucking-ess does!

        Half a dose of hell. I guess we take what we can get, right? I guess he wants to make sure things are “going through” before snaking a balloon through there. I can see that.

        Now I’m starving, but I’m afraid to eat because I have to drive two hours to the rheumatologist tomorrow and I don’t have the energy to spend tonight suspended over the Porcelain Palace retching my guts out. Think I’ll take my pills and call it a night. Hope your night is restful!

        Liked by 1 person

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