I probably sound slightly insane when I say I can’t wait for my next colonoscopy.
I haven’t eaten anything remotely exciting in the past two weeks, yet here I am at almost 2am with that familiar feeling of a bolus smashing into a bottleneck in my guts.
Enteroscopic balloon dilation has a very high long term failure rate – over 70%, but it’s not meant for the long term. It’s meant to be a safer, less invasive alternative to surgery. Ideally, the pharmaceuticals work their magic before a relapse. We all know how I roll. If I’m going to do something, I go all out. My crohn’s, et al enthusiastically follow suit.
Last weekend was problematic. On the day I was supposed to begin my fast for the colonoscopy, my POTS and hypotension were in a race to see which one could drop me like a big pile of doodie first. I had a few syncopal spells, and my BP wasn’t even registering on our cuff. 80/40 is as low as she goes. I suppose Omron doesn’t see the point of taking a dead person’s blood pressure.
I’ve been having deep, aching chest pain under my left boob at night for about a month, but rationalized it as reflux, until it got bad enough last Sunday that I was convinced it was something less benign. I’ve got a central line, I’ve had intermittent fever, what if it actually is my heart? Infection?
Manchild took me to the ER Monday morning where I had the full acute cardiac workup. Labs, ekg, xrays, echo. It wasn’t an infection, and it wasn’t a heart attack, thankfully. It’s called pericarditis, or inflammation of the pericardium; the sack around the heart.
My cardiology appointment wasn’t supposed to be for another two weeks, but the tin man actually came to see me while I was sitting in the ER. Deciding what caused it was difficult, if not impossible. Crohn’s can cause it, the drugs for crohn’s can cause it, uremia/blood wastes from kidney disease can cause it, and even viral infections since I had fever prior to the acute episodes of syncope and pain.
I spent the night in the cardiac telemetry ward and got dialyzed, which I now have to do 4x/week until it resolves, along with nsaids that shread all of my inerds.
I can’t reschedule the enteroscopy until it goes away either. I want tacos! Now!
Now it is understood why I’d rather talk about yarn balls and cows.