No fun herein

I probably sound slightly insane when I say I can’t wait for my next colonoscopy.   

I haven’t eaten anything remotely exciting in the past two weeks, yet here I am at almost 2am with that familiar feeling of a bolus smashing into a bottleneck in my guts.

Enteroscopic balloon dilation has a very high long term failure rate – over 70%, but it’s not meant for the long term.  It’s meant to be a safer, less invasive alternative to surgery.  Ideally, the pharmaceuticals work their magic before a relapse.  We all know how I roll.  If I’m going to do something, I go all out.  My crohn’s, et al enthusiastically follow suit.

Last weekend was problematic.  On the day I was supposed to begin my fast for the colonoscopy, my POTS and hypotension were in a race to see which one could drop me like a big pile of doodie first.  I had a few syncopal spells, and my BP wasn’t even registering on our cuff.  80/40 is as low as she goes.  I suppose Omron doesn’t see the point of taking a dead person’s blood pressure.

I’ve been having deep, aching chest pain under my left boob at night for about a month, but rationalized it as reflux, until it got bad enough last Sunday that I was convinced it was something less benign.  I’ve got a central line, I’ve had intermittent fever, what if it actually is my heart?  Infection?

Manchild took me to the ER Monday morning where I had the full acute cardiac workup.  Labs, ekg, xrays, echo.  It wasn’t an infection, and it wasn’t a heart attack, thankfully.  It’s called pericarditis, or inflammation of the pericardium; the sack around the heart.

My cardiology appointment wasn’t supposed to be for another two weeks, but the tin man actually came to see me while I was sitting in the ER.  Deciding what caused it was difficult, if not impossible.  Crohn’s can cause it, the drugs for crohn’s can cause it, uremia/blood wastes from kidney disease can cause it, and even viral infections since I had fever prior to the acute episodes of syncope and pain.

I spent the night in the cardiac telemetry ward and got dialyzed, which I now have to do 4x/week until it resolves, along with nsaids that shread all of my inerds.

I can’t reschedule the enteroscopy until it goes away either.  I want tacos!  Now!

Now it is understood why I’d rather talk about yarn balls and cows.

 

14 thoughts on “No fun herein

  1. My Heart goes out to you gurly gurl!!
    I hate the prep for the colonoscopy. uggg.. I am due for an upper well past due lol..those are not so bad just don’t eat lol…
    Sorry about all that you have to deal with health wise and other…
    You are very strong and will get thru this..
    Hugggs
    Suzz

    Liked by 2 people

    • You’re right, the prep is the worst part. I tried to talk ’em out of it, because I’m good at self cleaning and I haven’t been eating much anyhow, but nope, must drink the draino. Delish.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Oh no I think they get some sick thrill out of us having to take that shitt no pun intended lol…thank god for just an upper for me this time..just trying to make time for it…
        Hugggggs
        Suzz

        Liked by 1 person

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