Darn That ‘Regional Enteritis’

I’ve been sitting here for twenty minutes staring at a blinking cursor.  Do you know how difficult it is to describe a two day hospital stay and an enteroscopy in a fun and exciting way?  I can’t do it.  It can’t be done.  Lists are easy, so I’ll go with that.  Laaaazy wriiiter, why dontcha tell it like it is?  Why dontcha tell it like it really is?

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The mother of bowel-dragons, breaker of wind

-I dropped my wireless cardiac monitor into the toilet, received a new one and pondered how many times that one had been dunked into turd water before being repaired, then given to me.  Don’t ask, don’t tell.

-My overnight nurse was mighty hunky, so it’s even more tragic that I was on the toilet most of the first night stinking up the ENTIRE east wing.  At least he’ll remember me.

-I only had to stop at a bathroom once while en route to the GI clinic.  Sphincter power!

-I let a total stranger stick a balloon up my butt.  It’s an exercise in trust and the power of sedatives.

-Crohn’s is still rocking out in both ileum and colon.  My colon is angrier (linked video is out of season, but very very funny) than it was during my previous exam.  Simmer down, pal.

-I got an MVI and a B12 shot.  Liquid energy for my red stuff.

-I tried to steal a Red Cross therapy dog.  Again.

-Cimzia is being scrapped in favor of Remicade and Mesalamine

-After 6 months of a FUO, they’re blaming Crohn’s.  Makes sense.

-My nephrologist kept me one extra night to monitor my kidney function, then tested my AV fistula Friday morning at her clinic.  I got my CVC removed, which was a whole ordeal in itself.  One cannot simply yank a catheter out.

Overall, it went about as well as it could.  The gut man was able to work on dilating two accessible strictures, and the whole thing was done in about an hour.  I’m extremely sore, which is different from my last experience where I felt a little discomfort that seemed to go away within hours.  I’ve got more scar tissue now, which probably made the process a bit more….violent.  It feels as though I’ve been kicked in the gut.  Repeatedly.  I’ve been told this pain is normal and should go away after a few days.  Will this help me eat burritos?  Will the new pharmaceutical combo work?  Only time will tell.

 

 

 

 

 

19 thoughts on “Darn That ‘Regional Enteritis’

  1. Can you eat Jello? When I was a gymnast, we used to eat raw Jello as a snack. Don’t ask me why. But maybe eating Jello at an early age gave me an immunity to stomach problems. Something to think about. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m glad you made it through this ‘photo shoot’ with stories to tell. Isn’t that why we have these experiences, so we can blog about them? Your colon’s current state of extremist anger is probably due to the current state of political affairs and the Rio Olympics. I wish for you and Hubs and quiet, easy weekend, free of excessive loo usage. Feel better! 😀 ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  3. So glad to year it went as well as you could expect. Though I imagine being kicked in the gut multiple times, expected or not, isn’t a great state to be left in. Fingers crossed the new course of treatment works wonders!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank ya, ma’am. Who knows what they did to me while I was out. I may have been strung up by my tail like a piñata. 😉

      Have you ever seen video of hip replacement surgery? They really get in there and pound the shit out of those bones. Yikes!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Something I hope to never go through, that’s forsure….though with SI dysfunction it still may be in my future. I’m one of those freaks that would appreciate being able to watch the procedure afterwards. While Mr. Mango is barfing in the corner of course, he can’t even handle watching stitches.

        Liked by 1 person

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