The Name Game

It’s time I come clean and tell you I’m a hypocritical jerkface.  The one thing that I complain about more than my disease minions, is my husband’s obnoxious spending habits.  We have SO MUCH USELESS CRAP IN OUR HOUSE AND IT’S ALL HIS FAULT.  He spends money when he’s unhappy, because apparently more useless shit is the key to happiness.  How’s that working out for him so far?  Let’s just say the mailman has taken to throwing packages at our door because he gets tired of walking up to ring the doorbell.

I may be pretty good at being thrifty, partially out of necessity because of dumb-dumb, but I’m not immune to buying crap I shouldn’t.

Exhibit A:  World of Warcraft: Legion


I was invited to participate in beta testing, and have been having a blast playing around with the new Demon Hunter class, as well as testing out the new talent systems for the other classes.

Every time I open the launcher, it flashes the upgrade pre-purchase offers.  Pre-purchase Legion for $49.99 and get one free level 100 character boost.  See this 500 times, then log in when you should have been asleep six hours ago, and watch all of that sensible adultiness vaporize.  <Upgrade now>

This, the day after I explained how stupid it is that they charge that much for an expansion, and if I were to wait until the holidays, it’ll probably be on sale for $19.99.  Do I look like an idiot to you (be kind, this is a rhetorical question)?  No, I will not buy this steaming pile of overpriced crap just yet.  But I did, because I’ve joined the ranks of dumb-dumb.  At least my useless crap purchase doesn’t take up any more space than my computer already did, so I win.

Though the official release date is August 30th, they’ve already opened the demon hunter class for those of us who pre-purchased the xpac.  Wicked.

Now that I can make my OFFICIAL demon hunter, I find myself faced with a dilemma.  What in the hell should I name her?

My beta test demon hunter’s name was randomized because I didn’t feel like going through the grief of picking out a proper name for her.  So, her name is Zarainda.  How very Illidari of her.

My current collection of character names include Ninatode the gnome (variation of nematode, which was already taken – mf’rs), Bierphart the dwarf, Kiwano the spacegoat (Draenei), Botfly the night elf, Thunderthigh the troll, Distempered the Worgen/Gilnean, and Embearassed the Pandaran.  I get kicked off of role playing servers in some games due to my inability to give my toons a “real” name.  Wtf is wrong with using the name “Poptart”?  Weiners.  This is probably another good reason not to spawn; the world might think my kids were named by Frank Zappa.

So, I sat at the character creation screen for a good long while, then eventually named her Demorrhoid because I can see the association between that particular name and Hellfire.  Not RP server friendly, and not even remotely appropriate.  Perfect.  Perhaps the game devs will add in a boss that’s a giant tube of preparation-H just for me.


My official opinion of the game: wait until it goes on sale.  It’s not worth the 50 bucks.  It would have been more fun to buy fifty dollars worth of cake and then see how long it takes me to eat it.


16 thoughts on “The Name Game

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