The Perfect Role Model?

R&J’s wedding stuff is getting out of hand.  I made a tentative commitment to being a bridesmaid, knowing full well that shit might happen that would leave me stranded at my current location (it’s looking more and more like this is going to happen).  Rich bought us a hotel room for two nights in Grand Rapids, because we’re poor.  We can’t afford to buy the dress, travel, and pay for lodging.  I feel awful about this.  Worse yet, the room is non-refundable, so if we don’t show, he’s out the $220 he spent on it.

Jenny wanted me to pick out a hairstyle so she can show her stylist to get an estimate of cost and the amount of time it’ll take.  My hair is LONG.  Like down to the middle of my back (get a haircut, you damn hippie).  It’s also super-fine and slippery, so I have to make sure it’s at least two days unwashed when I go in to get it styled.  I picked out what looks like a relatively simple style, and it looks fancy enough to be wedding worthy.  She plans to pay for this as well.  I’m such a bum!

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Jenny has neurological issues.  I don’t know exactly what it’s called (hypoxic ischemic encephalopathy?), but she almost died while her mother was giving birth to her.  Her brain was starved for oxygen, so she has vision as well as cognitive problems.  I honestly wouldn’t have known this if Rich hadn’t told me.  I just figured she has the kind of personality that makes her act drunk all of the time.  I knew she was doing eye therapy, but I wasn’t sure why.  As a result of her ‘disability’ her parents pounded it into her head that she’d never amount to anything because she’s not as smart as other people.  They kept her hidden away.  To me, this amounts to abuse.  She has a serious lack of self-confidence, and is afraid to talk to people or ask questions due to constantly being told she’s stupid (something I fully relate to, given my own history with my Dad).  Well, that particular “stupid” girl has two associate degrees.  Do two associates equal a bachelor’s?  I’m confused about this.  Why not just go for a BA?

Rich has been so good to her.  It’s the kind of love that makes me gag when I see it, but I guess it’s incredibly sweet.  She’s opening up more and isn’t as afraid to be herself most of the time.  I’ve spent quite a bit of time chatting with her, and “yelling” at her when she apologizes for asking questions.  I want her to be who she is, no matter how screwed up she thinks that is.  She’s her own biggest critic.  I’m not going to get pulled into self-bashing contests with her, like so many women seem to enjoy doing.  Instead, I encourage her to celebrate what makes her awesome – like me being her bridesmaid!  I kid.

She considers me to be the sister she never had (and she’s lucky she never had me as a sister).  Someone to look up to (😲).  Someone to confide in.  Someone to bitch about her stupid boy with, because I’ve got a stupid boy of my own.

Also….

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Yup.  That’s me in one sentence.  I am a perfect role model. 😆

9 thoughts on “The Perfect Role Model?

  1. It’s expensive to be in a wedding. When we got married I asked them to wear their best dress and shoes that made them happy, I paid for the hair and we found places for everyone to stay. We were just as poor as everyone else but I am so happy I was surrounded by friends that day!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My amusing poet friend Niall Spooner-Harvey has the same condition as your friend. He only has about half a brain. And a degree in Classics from Cambridge. He was on a number & word TV quiz when he was 14.He couldnt’ walk until he was 18. Now he has 3 kids and a wife, and lives, in Madison. In the UK he couldn’t earn enough to be married etc. But the USA doesn’t care about his limp etc. and have appreciated him. Here he is doing poetry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjk76ZGkpeo

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s awesome! The thing about America is that most people here are walking around with only half of a brain. 😉 Seriously though, I’m glad he overcame his obstacles. I think the fact that the “normals” expect a person to fail simply because they have a disability is shitty. If anything, we’re more resilient and adaptable, which gives us a larger skill set to succeed…if that’s the path we choose to take.

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