There is High Done, Low Done, Underdone and Overdone

I died.  I’m dead.  Hi, I’m a very chatty dead person.  There will be no cleaning today.  There will be lots of coffee and lots of drugs.  Oh man. 😕

My parents are trying to save me from the nonsense because no one knows how to torture me like they do.  Here’s something I’ve often thought about – do we ever actually ‘grow up’ while our parents are still alive?  With me, growing up isn’t an option.  I imagine it’ll feel like I’m alone in the world.  MC’s parents are much younger than mine so it’s time to start feeding them lots of rice and apple cores.  Ya know what I mean?  I hope not, because if you do, you’re nuts.

I hid all of my tasty-yummies (frozen meals, fried pickles, 15 pounds of fries, a big tupperware container full of guacamole) in the chest freezer in the garage, then moved 5 giant slabs of cow into the house freezer.  I bought a huge load of groceries last night, but managed to keep it real, for the most part.  No processed meats, and save for a couple of boxes of cereal and some canned cream-of-whatever soups, no garbage.

I’m reminded of the times I had animal deaths during winter time.  Being that I was a rescuer of all types of small critters, I often got animals that were screwed up somehow.  Example: a lovebird came into my care that had only one half of his lower beak, so I had to give him hand-feeding formula.  He lived a lot longer than anyone expected, but he still had a short (happy) life.  Think of it as animal hospice.  If one of those freaks of nature happened to die, I’d toss them into the freezer until the ground was no longer frozen so I could give ’em a proper burial.  This is one of the many reasons I decided not to become a veterinarian.  Animal deaths are worse than human deaths in many ways.

I didn’t eat anything yesterday.  I picked an odd day to test my hunger cues.  Result; I wasn’t hungry by 7pm when I went grocery shopping, so I waited.  I figured if grocery shopping didn’t make me hungry, my appetite is truly dead.  She’s dead, Jim.  It’s extremely rare that I actually lose my physical appetite.  As in, the grumbles and burning in my stomach when I don’t eat.  Mental appetite is an entirely different animal.  I can convince myself that I’m not hungry, even when I am, to avoid the grief that’s associated with eating.  On the flipside, in the fine tradition of my ancestors, I tend to stress eat.  I am definitely stressed out, but still no hunger.  I expected to work up quite an appetite while attempting to get the house organized, but that didn’t happen either.  Balls.

There really isn’t any point to this post other than to tell you when I died, I went to hell.  Surprise!


14 thoughts on “There is High Done, Low Done, Underdone and Overdone

  1. I only get mental hunger cues and no physical ones (unless you count being hangry…which happens around that time of the month). I eat every day for two reasons; I know I have to even if it ends badly and because if I don’t my kid complain they’re stomachs hurt and they can’t eat any time it’s not desert being served to them. Stress eating is a whole other demon completely and it’s definitely why I yo-yo dieted for years of earlier life, now however when my gut seems up for it, its a good opportunity for a ‘refeed’ sort of deal…. except on gummy bears and some simple starches covered in salt. As for being grown up? I feel like the more I age the more they need my help. I am teaching my dad what it’s like to really be a grown up and cook, clean and shop for oneself and well… my mother throws more temper-tantrums and needs more attention than the 3 year old. I have never felt more like the grown up in the family, apparently my body is agreeing as I’m probably going to be the first one to kick the bucket anyways.

    I hope you feel the urge to eat today… you probably should. I also hope that the inlaws visit doesn’t kill you…again?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha, I get that! I’m sometimes amazed that I made it through childhood. At the same time, though, they’re here when I need them. When I don’t have the option of crying to my mama while psycho-MIL is terrorizing me, it’ll all fall on my poor husband or I’ll just stuff it and eventually go on a rampage like Bitchzilla. A rampage DOES sound fun…which requires strength and energy, thus you’re correct – I must eat. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Lost my appetite, too. Even for Dilly Bars. But I have plenty of extra fat to sustain me, unlike you. You should at least suck on a popsicle. I suggest grape, because it makes your lips and tongue purple. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • I ate dinner with the space invaders. Chicken, rice, butternut squash, onions, apples…all thrown into a pot. Should be safe, right? What the fucking reflux, Batman? I’m blaming the asspples.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Well it sounds absolutely delicious.

        I would blame not eating for a whole day. That has to screw up the whole stomach biology. When I used to do the heavy Jewish fasts, my GERD absolutely killed me the next day.

        Speaking of which, have you noticed that the magnesium based chewable antacids (Mylanta, for one) have all gone away? I must have missed that part of the torture plan. The calcium based ones are a great way to get rebound calcium mediated acid secretion. Yay, acid! Not.

        It seems you have survived Space Invaders I. How the fuck long are they staying? How is the MC of the show holding up? Give them all a kiss from meeeee😗😙💋💋💋👾

        Liked by 1 person

        • Could be! Hmmmm.. can’t say that I have noticed. I have tums and those don’t do squat. I took protonix for a while, but stopped maybe 6 months ago thinking my actual problem is the gastroparesis and the ppi was making the situation worse? Not as much barfing since I stopped, reglan works great but the potential side effects are not so great. Any idea why they got rid of the Mg antacids?

          Oh, good grief. Harpy will be here for at least a month. Several hours was long enough for me. 😆 I’ve got 3000 words about day 1. Oof. It might be the same word repeated 3000 times.

          Liked by 2 people

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