I internalize a buncha shit. When someone is nasty to me, I don’t react. I tuck it away into a deep corner of my mind where it spreads like wildfire. This is great for avoiding conflict, but terrible for my mental health. Talking about it after the fact is the best way for me to deal with it since it prevents the massive emotional explosions that would likely happen otherwise.
Sometimes being a buoy in a stormy sea pays off. Which is to say, keeping my mouth shut and being non-reactive isn’t always a bad thing.
Example: I’ve been the target of all sorts of nastiness since the Harpy arrived, yet I pretend it bounces right off and doesn’t affect me. This is obviously far from the truth, but she doesn’t know that.
Today the invaders went to Sam’s Club and when they returned, Harpy came into my room, closed the door, and her eyes started to tear up. She apologized about being snappy and nasty. It’s not fair that she’s taking her anger, anxiety and frustration out on me when I’ve been nothing but wonderful. She admitted to being ashamed to cry, that she’d rather be pissed off.
I told her crying is perfectly acceptable and is way more beneficial than tearing other people down to make herself feel better, and I do understand what she’s going through because I’m going through the same thing. He’s not my son, but I do love the bastard an awful lot.