There’s nothing smart or admirable about being stoic. Sorry to burst your pride-bubble. It means you’re more likely to do things that aren’t in your best interest in order to save face. I admire the people who aren’t afraid cry it out in public or tell others that they’re having a shitty day without feeling remorseful afterward. Maybe you get labeled as a whiner, but at least the assholes know that you’re having a difficult time so maybe they’ll be a little less assholish. Hahahahajajajaja, just kidding! Assholes are assholes no matter what.
It was a VERY long day and by the end of it I was dragging several hundred feet behind the old fatties, on the verge of crying like a huge baby because I was SO exhausted and in SO MUCH pain. I didn’t say a word. I dragged my dead leg behind me and kept pushing forward, while my heart was pounding so fast I had virtually no peripheral vision because my field of view and even my hearing had been completely murdered by the POTS. After stumbling out to the parking garage eight hours after we arrived without collapsing, I’m more inclined to believe in miracles. Because it was one.
“You can’t complain. You can’t make this about you because you can’t handle dealing with bitchface today. You can make it. Just 5,000 more steps.”
During all of my attempts to be stoic and selfless (like a dumbass – I’m lucky I didn’t fall and crack my skull open), Harpy managed to nearly get herself tossed out of a moving vehicle, granted we were only traveling at about 20mph most of the way home. Round things roll.
SHSOTD (stupid Harpy shit of the day):
One) When she wants attention she sighs loudly. It’s the sort of sigh, if coming out of a normal person, might make you ask them what’s wrong, except she exaggerates it to the point that it makes me want to pop her head like a giant zit. She does it’s all of the fucking time. Instead of asking for what she wants, she sits there and sighs while staring at the person she wants something from. Maybe that person can translate her sighs into English to discover what the fuck it is she wants. It’s childish. And even more than that, it’s fucking annoyiiiiiiiiing. We were on the way home in rush hour traffic and I am so thankful I had my headphones with me, because if I had to listen to her sigh one more time, I would have reached up, popped open the door, then bounced her ass out onto the highway. Music soothes the savage beast. So does the mental image of her bouncing down the freeway.
Two) My parents offered to take over caregiving responsibilities when the In-laws are due back to Ohio in a little less than three weeks, or at least FIL has to leave then. If my parents are here, he can take bitchface with him. Nothing would make me happier. I tossed this info her way yesterday. She snapped at me and said we have no idea what’s going on with manchild yet, so she’s not going to make any plans. Fast forward to today, she wants him to make plans to travel back to Ohio after his post-op appointment so he can finish his recovery back “home”. He’s not a fan of the idea, because STERNOTOMY! Then she whined and carried on. If he wants to go, so be it. I happen to be in the camp that thinks it’s straight up sadism, not to mention dangerous, to make him travel that distance so soon. I did remind her that we ALL decided not to make plans until we know he’s okay and have a better idea of how well he tolerates the surgery as well as the initial healing period. Selfish slunt.