Day 16ish: Kicking all sorts of ass, including my own

Two weeks, three days.  That’s how long I’ve been carrying on like I’m a badass (you all know better).  Building furniture, cleaning, making any sort of food that the broken-hearted might want to nosh on, not allowing myself my mandatory afternoon naps (or rest, really – I don’t sleep), all while not acknowledging that my body is pissed the fuck off.  Being called a stupid invalid may be the driving force behind the insanity.

The day after my appointment with Dr. Awesome, I felt much worse by afternoon.  My fever that was low grade, running from 99.7 to 100.4 decided to hike itself up by two degrees during the first half of the day, then hovered between that and a sweet 103.  I’m one hot babe.  Tylenol doesn’t seem to be the best antipyretic, which is to say the shit doesn’t work for anything, with the exception causing liver failure.

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There must be steam coming out of my ears.

 

Still, fuck you sickness.  I’ve got faking to do.  I did laundry, sanitized the bathroom and all of the surfaces I’ve touched in the shared living areas (doorknobs, microwave, keurig, refrigerator handle, kitchen cabinet doors, drawers and knobs, light switches, remotes, and the stairway railing).  I even fixed the fucking garbage disposal because whoreface dumped half of a roast down the drain and the blades seized up.  A quick turny-turny with a ratchet on the underside and a generous soaking of the topside with pb-blaster, we were back in business for her to fuck it up again.

“Are you still sick?  You must not be that sick.  If I were sick, I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed.” -Harpy

Sure, sure.  Everyone I know has the ability to kick a viral infection in four days and has it layered on top of a fuck-ton of incurable diseases.  Slunt.

THEN, when I should have been gaming it up like the fabulous geek that I am, I took a minute to cry it out in private and swallow a handful of pills.  My entire body aches to the bones, my knees and ankles are swollen, and my face is so full of boogers my teeth hurt and my vision is blurry.  It was a very quick pity party.  “I’m just fine.”, then I was back at it.

This morning I decided I should shower to decontaminate myself a little bit, even though it was the last thing on earth I wanted to do.  I proceeded to barf all over my feet, so now I must lysol the shower and my shower bench.  It just keeps getting better!

More than anything else, I’m pissed off that I’m germy and can’t lounge in bed with Manchild when all I want to do is be near him because who knows what will happen on Tuesday.  So what do I do?  I ooze with rage when I walk into the bedroom and find him engaging in his FAVORITE activity (I even knocked!), then called his Mom a whore.  What one has to do with the other, I have no idea.  Smooooooth, Kara.

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Tall pile STAYS (buh’bye rainbow hoodie 😭), the rest gets smashed into the bag.  Not pictured: much more crap.

I can’t figure out what I should bring and what I should leave behind.  We’re all piling into a Taurus, and Harpy requires 5 extra pillows which take up half of the trunk space, plus the shit for three other people who have to pack for 2 weeks of away time.  I must bring my shower stool.  All rooms are ADA compliant, so I won’t have to worry about filling a cup with water to rinse myself off because there should be handheld shower heads.  Outside of clothing, toiletries and my traveling pharmacy that I plan to stuff into one giant duffel (that I’ll probably fall over while carrying), I’d like to bring my laptop, a few books, my knitting crap, and some food.  Frozen meals, as well as some pantry shit.  The most important is coffee.  There is allegedly a microwave, mini-fridge, and a mini-keurig coffee maker.  I don’t think it’ll hurt the frozen stuff to thaw as long as I finish them up within a week, or at least whatever doesn’t fit in the pathetic freezer nook.  That’s a lot of stuff.  And to think I used to be a low maintenance traveler.  If I have to share a suite with bitchface and FIL, they’ll likely fill the fridge with their shit leaving no room for my stuff because I’m a sub-human of less importance.

I took a peek at my UA from Tuesday that I’m supposed to have repeated along with a metabolic panel, and I’m inclined to skip the cmp because nothing good will come of it. I can’t very well be there to entertain MC if I’m 2 floors above him in my own shitty hospital room, can I?  Nope.  Lots of protein, waxy and rbc casts, and cholesterol crystals (wtf?).  At the very least, it may mean going back to dialysis 3x/week.  Things were looking pretty good in August outside of the little torsion issue, but September seems to be destroying me.  Fuck it.

Someone PLEASE put me out of my misery.  Thanks!

14 thoughts on “Day 16ish: Kicking all sorts of ass, including my own

  1. If I were in your place I would have had many more than one mini pity party….SO much going on and so little support of your own since you’re the glue holding everyone and everything else together. You must have the worlds highest resolve level ever. September has been rough, let’s hope it ends with MC’s shit going as well as possible, Harpy leaving you the fuck alone and somehow being able to get you into October in err….kind of one piece…

    Liked by 1 person

    • I dunno, dude. I feel like I’m not coping very well at all. Harpy is an emotionally draining person…I’m sure you know how that is after reading your last post. She’s only nice when she wants something, and in this case it’s support. I don’t even know what to say to the woman. I couldn’t walk past her today without having the strong urge to throw a book or a stone coaster at her face. She has bad energy. 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      • I hear ya, sometimes the hardest part is not knowing how to NOT react to someone driving you bonkers. Negative people pretty much literally suck the life from you and when your health is already failing it’s like tying a weight onto an already drowning person. I wish at the very least that MC got a little more out of his mother being there, at least the struggle would seem a little more worth it. Maybe you can hope that your germs pass to her and her only… then she’ll have to be the one avoiding spending time with him during recovery and you’ll have him all to yourself!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Gurl you have those hands full…lol..Please take care of yourself I know I know I sound like a mom well I am after all lol….I hope everything turns out good for you and that you can enjoy those books and knitting things that you enjoy..I agree September has been a mother fucker for sure and October seems busy with dr and labs here too…please keep updated don’t make me beat dat azz lol jk…
    Hugggggggs n love gurl
    Suzette

    Liked by 3 people

    • I’m sorry, Sheldon. That stinks! I remember when my first diagnosis came in – I went through something that was a lot like grief, though I kept getting stuck on denial. Just take the emotions as they come…it’s not easy.

      Have you had a biopsy to figure out how much damage there is? Sometimes it’s nice to know why you feel like crap, even if the news is a bummer. What do they do for NASH? Monitor it?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. As for MC, I guess he’d better get it while he can. Ain’t gonna be none of that shit for a while…have you seen the movie “I Love You To Death” with Tracy Ullman? You really need to see it. Why, I’m not sure. This was a moment of pure prophesy, mind.

    It’s not necessary to prove to Harpy that you can do it all. We already know that, and she will never get it, so get some good ear plugs (you’ll need them for the hotel anyway). Plus which, in the hotel there won’t be near as much for her to fuck up.

    I hate to ask…do you think you might have pyelo, with that nasty urine saying that your kidneys are very unhappy just now, and a big fever spike? Can’t help it, you know how I am. Also the vomiting. You don’t normally vomit in the shower, do you?

    I’m worried.

    Liked by 1 person

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