A (cry)baby is Born

I’ve been crying way more often than usual.  It’s mostly related to anxiety associated with what my mate is about to go through and by extension, what I’m currently going through and what will likely continue for entirely too long, my own health problems and fragile mental state not considered.

This isn’t the first time I’ve dropped him off at an APU for surgery, although the last time was on an area that’s a little less vital.  I don’t think he’d appreciate me going into detail about that – but I will say I wasn’t the least bit nervous, and when the surgeon talked to me while MC was in recovery, I couldn’t help but laugh.  I’m an asshole.  After that surgery, he was supposed to return to work after 10 days, but ended up being off of work for a total of 14 business days (18 days of laying in bed, staring at boobs on his laptop).  The fact that it took him so long to recover from such minor surgery (I mean, look at me…I was cleaning house within a week of my last surgery because I’m a dumbass) makes me worry much more about his recovery after something so major.

When it was just the two of us speaking with the cardiologists and surgeons, I was completely on board with him getting this shit fixed ASAP, though I would have preferred that it be done at the #1 cardiac surgery hospital in the US, but the government is stingy with their toys.  In fact, the only anxiety I had was knowing that his parents would show up.  Even if I were well enough to drive and take care of him for six weeks, I know they would have been here for at least a portion of the time anyhow, but no where near the eight weeks or longer that I’m looking at right now.

Am I worried about the surgery or the outcome?  No, not really.  It’s a complicated procedure, but statistically he should be just fine.  I’m more worried about being around the woman who literally sucks the happiness and vitality out of me and being unable to hold it together when I’ll have no one there for me, except me.  If I were actually alone, as in by myself, I’d be fine.  Throw in a Harpy, and the psychic poles reverse.  Complete chaos.

This is going to be an extremely difficult week.

6 thoughts on “A (cry)baby is Born

  1. This is going to be extremely difficult weeks. I’m sorry. You are so strong. I’m afraid I would have spoken my mind before now, or put way too much stress on my husband because of my neediness. Having him tell his mother to F off.
    Heck, I almost had him do that the only time I met his mother. (she died before we were married) When I met her we were engaged and she told me not to hold my breath until we were married. Yes, she actually said that to me. So I get the harpy thing. I later found out that she liked and respected me after that visit, but I sure didn’t know it from her. *rolling eyes* what is it about mothers and their sons?
    but I digress.
    I’m pulling for you my dear.
    I’d be a physical and emotional wreck. You are a strong woman!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sometimes a good cry is the only way we have to let it all out safely. It sucks when it feels like you’re being weak, but it’s better than ending up in jail because you DID end up throwing a stone coaster at the Harpy beast right? I’m sure if that happened MC would be stuck missing his surgery too. I’m assuming she’s being an even worse form of nasty due to her being worried about her son (and much less educated on all this medical crap) and taking it out on the world around her. Maybe we can hope that once he’s recovering she’ll tone it down the tiniest bit because the ‘hard part’ that most people worry the most over, will be done. In the mean time I’m wishing you strength and courage to make it through, even if it means a good sob with a box of tissue needs to happen a few times.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m sending you and MC metric tonnes of good juju for a smooth surgery and smooth recovery, however long that takes. And for Harpy, I wish that she should develop more pressing things to do, elsewhere. Crying is healthy at times like this. I would worry about you if you DIDN’T cry!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I know it’s easier for someone else to say but you have to take care of yourself first or you can’t help anyone else. I really loved the description of your sinus infection in a previous post. I get them often too. The last time I went to my Primary Care Doctor she said ” You don’t have an infection just take some Tylenol (which I can’t take) and you’ll be fine”. My response was “Since when is snot Army Green?”. I was always told that if it was that color and had blood in it you probably had a sinus infection. She still insisted it wasn’t. When she went to tap on my cheek bones I almost flew out of the chair. Still I didn’t have an infection. When I went home I found an antibiotic that my father couldn’t take so I took it and everything went away. I never defend myself but you make me want to get between you and Harpy. If it was me I’d be eating my Klonopin like they were candy. Good luck and we’re here if needed.

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