Checking In

Here’s a quick update: No one has died.  Yet.  I might murder a few people between now and February, but there haven’t been any unexpected or accidental deaths.

There was a complication during surgical prep while the surgical team was filling MC with IV catheters.  A big mistake lead to an unexpected 3 hour surgery which ultimately delayed the surgery he was SUPPOSED to have for at least a month.  I’ve shared the details with a few people, but I’m not sure if at some point we will want to take legal action so it’s probably best if I leave this as vague as possible.

He’s doing okay, and with my help he got proper pain medication so he actually felt like eating.  Then I took him and Sally, his IV pole, for a walk around the ward.  His parents suck and I still wish Harpy would come down with porridge plague.

I’ve been trying to talk them into getting him a psych consult as I believe he’ll do much better in the interim if he’s on antidepressants.  I know his symptoms are primarily from his AI, but when the heart it stressed, it fucks with neurotransmitters and can cause subclinical depression.  I believe his appetite will come back and he’ll feel more like being up out of bed if he’s on something.  The pain meds do the same thing, but there’s the whole regulation thing that would limit his access.  His parents are upset with me for mentioning it.  I’m just speaking from experience.  In my case, it was pain preventing me from eating, and reducing that pain improved my appetite and quality of life.  

I don’t understand why they’re so against taking care of his mental health.  They view them as two separate entities, but the two cannot be separated.  I’ve said this so many times, I feel like a doll with a pull string that squeaks out a recorded message.  I don’t want him to suffer any more than he already is, and if we can help him in any way, even if it is taking Zoloft for a couple of months, I think everyone should agree to give it a try.  But what do I know?  I’m just a stupid invalid.

23 thoughts on “Checking In

  1. You’re a smart cookie, is you is. A gluten free cookie, of course. What’s your favorite kind of cookie?

    I know that if she weren’t MC’s mother, you would have given her some payback by now….but of course if she wasn’t MC’s mother, you wouldn’t even know she existed, and if you did, you would run away fast!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I admit it’s a little satisfying when I think out loud about his medical stuff, they ask me what the fuck I’m talking about, I explain, get the “yer dumb” glare, then a doctor says the exact same thing as I did the next day. Booyah, bitchface!


  2. Antidepressants still have a bit of a bad name unfortunately, When I was offered them after my brain injury I declined for ages as my parents had brought me up to not believe in them. But eventually I relented and I can honestly say I’m glad I did. Man Child is lucky to have you fighting this corner. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s the way his family is too. Brain injuries are bad when it comes to depression and especially anxiety. My mother had a brain aneurysm that ruptured about 15 years ago and she does so much better on SSRIs. It really is a physical problem and not many people understand that, particularly the older generations.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. well thank god no one has been killed yet..yes that is a good thing I think except for the one you need to put in their place ..but I understand and get that…
    Why are so many people against getting mental health help??? after all you live with him KNOW HIM..I always bring my better half with me to my drs with a head injury he really helps me or he will talk for me if I am having problems …you would think that his parents would be open to getting him the help he needs at any cost..But like the person above said it has to do with that older generation that doesn’t help you at all…My dad at first didn’t want to get help he said I am not crazy lol I said I know it’s to help you for his depression and ptsd and the list goes on lol…
    Gurl hang tight and be strong (i know you are) maybe even talk to the drs in private after all you don’t have to share his medical history with his parents…that is what I would do..just me lol..

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ugh, I dunno dude. I’m feeling pretty affected, tearful, and just plain depressed. It’s interesting – the only times I feel the need to be on something is when I’m around his Mom. It helps me forget how much she irritates me. That’s always nice!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Awww gurly gurl…I am so, so sorry to hear this : ( You are a strong gurl for sure to be able to put up with this…Don’t let them fuck with that pretty head and mind…You are worth more than that and that probably pisses her off..She can tell that you are a smart cookie and that just makes her even more mad when the Dr agrees with YOU!!…
        I hope that you don’t have much more time left with them and they can be gone…


  4. As his wife, do you have legal decision-making rights over his parents? Just wondering if the medical team need to involve harpy and co. Does white dress and piece of paper give you priority here for suggesting psych consult?

    Best wishes for the pole dancing with sally.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m his sole beneficiary, but as long as he’s conscious and perceived to be mentally competent, he makes his own decisions. It’s just that he submits to the will of his parents because he “doesn’t have a choice.”

      Manchild is a very fitting pseudonym.

      It’s foreign to me. The first word out of my mouth when I was a kid was “no”, and now I’ve got a somewhat healthy adult relationship with my parents. And major commendations to them for surviving me. 😄

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh my! Poor guy can’t seem to catch a break in this whole situation therefore, neither can you. Does this mean Harpy will stay on for another month? Heavens, say it ain’t so!? You both are going to need the antidepressants if that’s the case. Mercy! Thinking of you and MC! Hate to hear things went so poorly! Sending ❤ & 💡from, ZenCricket aka Cecilia

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Damn on the mistake! That really sucks. I’m really hating it for you.
    Call me stupid, but I don’t understand why his parents have so much say in this grown man’s treatment. What a mama’s boy. yeah I said it! If my husband allowed his parents…um, mother…to dictate so much of his life, he’s have one less wife.
    I know easy for me to say since I don’t have a mother-in-law. My father-in-law would never interfere with our lives. May help that we live 3000 miles away, and he’s having way too much fun enjoying retirement with his new wife.
    I’m still catching up but I think this one really said a lot.
    I’m getting it now. This major F-Up at the hospital, you getting sick. Hubby goes to family’s house. I assume he’s having the surgery there after the blunderfuck. I continue to read. Just not in order.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You got it! Hence his nickname, manchild. It drives me crazy – watching how they treat him and that he allows it. He doesn’t like it either, but he’s incapable of saying no or setting appropriate boundaries. Only having to deal with it a few days a year was irritating. This is a whole different level of crap. I can’t stick up for him because clearly I’m just a crazy person who doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I’ve voiced my disgust and keep reminding them he’s 35 fucking years old. He just sits and takes it.

      Liked by 1 person

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