I Can Breathe! Sort of…

I got “locked in” three days ago and I’ve been slowly working on cleaning up the disaster area that the savages created.  As this short amount of alone time passes, I’m beginning to feel more like myself.  Mentally, that is.  When I wake up in the morning and remember I’m the only person I have to tolerate, I breathe a sigh of relief!

…and then I hack up a lung.

I’ve been sick for about 14 days and I’m wondering how long snot is supposed to be gray and green.  No matter.  Since I’ve been unable to accomplish shit over the phone and through the patient portal, a very thoughtful Manchild called our Doctor’s nurse and switched his appointment to my name.  Otherwise, he would have just cancelled it.  Why is it that nothing gets done unless I do it in person?  Death stares don’t work as well over the phone?  MC is running into the same problems now that he’s 400 some miles West of where he’s trying to get business taken care of.  If he’s unable to accomplish shit too, I can always tell his pig-headed spawners “I told you so.”

I walked four miles today.  Whaaaaat?!  I kid you not.  When the invaders left, they took my car because I’m not allowed to drive anyhow, but I’m not into following the rules so exactly that I won’t drive two miles down the road to catch the bus on D-days.  The Golf is much more forgiving than the Dakota, which drives like a fucking barge.  So, I walked.  Two miles there, two miles back.  It was pretty amazing.  The most trouble I had was heel pain from the PTTD, and of course the fact that dialysis knocks me the fuck out.  The walk back was quite a bit more epic.  I’ve been having difficulty keeping my blood pressure up, and also putting a stop to the rave in my colon, but today almost everything cooperated.  This happens once in a black moon.  I should consider walking to the gas station to get some scratch off lottery tickets as the odds seem to be in my favor today.

What I can’t do is eat.  Appetite death happened in late July and hasn’t improved.  I’m trying to eat small amounts of food with extra calories added, like a small serving of gf noodles with a shit ton of butter added, a gob of peanut butter straight from the jar, and disgusting nutritional bars.  If I eat anything of bulk, we’re talking more than a half a cup of food at a time, it’s a fight to keep it down.  My ass is in between sizes, so while my tiny person clothes technically fit, they are a bit too restrictive, whereas I’m swimming in my normal clothes.  Solution?  Pajamas 24/7.  Hooray for spandex.

My food-centric parents are in town, but I won’t be seeing them until tomorrow.  Mom asked if they can take me out to lunch before my appointment…blaaaaaaaaaaaag.  Nope.  Meanwhile, I’m on the search for a high fat, moderate protein, lower sugar snack bar that doesn’t taste like a tree’s butthole (I’ll bet you didn’t know trees had those).  Any recommendations?

13 thoughts on “I Can Breathe! Sort of…

    • Whoa…those look like Cocoa Pebbles in bar form. Yum! Unfortunately, we don’t have those here, but I’m sure I could order them. E-commerce is magical. All of the nutritional bars I’m finding are ‘low fat’, which I think is bullshit. Then of course, there are paleo bars that cost $40-$50 for a 12 pack. That’s insanity. If it weren’t for the hypoglycemia, I could eat the sugary stuff with no problem. I have been anyhow (ahem, ice cream), but it makes me feel extra-gnarly when I crash. Every dang thing in me is broken. I want a refund! 😆

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I wish I could help but like you, my search for a decent energy bar has come up with nothing. I used to make the kids giant batches of home made ones that tasted amazing, weren’t low calorie by any means and had pretty decent macros, but for anyone with intestinal problems, chunks of nuts, dried fruits and uncooked oatmeal usually isn’t the most gut friendly. Once in a while I pick up a dark chocolate Laura bar when I need something while stuck shopping. They’re pretty pricey though. I really hope you’re able to kick your sicky-pants soon, 14 days of ooze…. ain’t nobody got time for dat.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, the fiber is a problem. I love the nut & spice kind bars, but they add chicory fiber to them and that’s not very comfortable. The most recent thing I’ve tried is Rxbars. Egg whites, nuts, dates, and spices. It’s a lot like chewing on styrofoam. If I ever get ambitious, I’ll try to make my own. I made knockoff Z-bars once upon a time and those were awesome, but oats. Meh.

      I understand you’ve got the plague too, you poor kid. I hope yours doesn’t last as long. You definitely don’t have time for that! *passes the puffs plus*

      Liked by 1 person

  2. In the UK snot is meant to be green. Every visual joke about bogies they are green. I live in London, and my snot has never been green, but always grey because of pollution. My first boyfriend found this shocking – he was from Bristol, still a city but with more green. ‘Never had a green bogey?’ ‘only when sick’, ‘What!!’. That’s how I know I’m ill, luminous green and yellow bogies. In Brissel bogies go a brown colour when you’re sick. There, now you know about UK bogies. This is all I can contribute.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I was in central Australia for a couple of weeks and my snot went bright red/orange due to the dirt. It was like pulling Uluru/Ayers Rock out of my nose every hour or so. I’m loving this vicarious travelling via nasal discharge colour.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Awesome! I’ve noticed subtle differences even within the same metro area. Where I live, grey or even black, then up “north”, green. The nuances of the infected sinus rainbows impacted by location…can’t believe I’ve never thought of it. Thanks dude! 😀


      • After spending time at Oxford Circus (heart of London’s shopping district and most polluted part of London) you end up with little ‘clusters’ in your snot and mucus that if you crack them open are just full of grains of filth – hard, like micro-pebbles. The inside of the ‘clusters’ is totally dry. This is my excuse for keeping my nasal hair long, thick and luxurious.

        Liked by 1 person

Talk to me, Goose!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s