Behold The Power of the Brown Eyes

I don’t quite understand how doing just a little bit is the same level of suck as doing way too much.  If I don’t feel any different, I may as well say fuck it and do what I need to do rather than trying to go easy on myself.

Four days after I requested my renewals, I FINALLY got an email from my doctor’s nurse.  Great, that means I can cancel my appointment that I don’t really need and go straight to the pharmacy.  Oh, but wait.  “Blah blah blah was filled and ready for pick-up, for your Ultram refill, please discuss issues with this medication at your appointment in clinic this afternoon.”


Jumping to conclusions, I assumed my doctor was mildly pissed off at me for doing very little of what he asks of me because I’m a shitty patient.  I claim I’m trying to preserve blood.  Now is as good of a time as any to not have access to pain relief, right?  I’m already on a one-way street to the whack shack.  Let’s give this bitch some rockets to expedite the process.  I did what any grown woman would do – I brought my mommy with me to my appointment.  Ha!  Actually, she wanted to meet this doctor guy whom I speak so highly of, considering I call the rest of my doctors idiots, douche bags, or assholes.  There must be something special about this one.

It turned out there wasn’t an issue at all or he didn’t feel like cluing me in to what the issue was.  He just asked me if it’s still working for my PN pain and I said ‘ish’.  Would I like to have no pain at all?  Uh huh.  Still, this is way better than nothing at all.  He’s quite satisfied that I haven’t had to switch to anything stronger or up my dosage for it to continue to work.  My other theory is that he gets pissed off at all of my e-requests and tries to rope me in for an intervention/lecture about how I need to stay on top of labs and shit (shit being referrals – he’s trying to get me hooked up with specialists who aren’t idiots/douche bags/assholes), but then he sees my face.  Those big, dark saucers on either side of my nose.  He forgets why he wanted to lecture me, he tells my Mom I’m his favorite patient, then three hours later I bounce out of the pharmacy with two bags of drugs.

Getting my other stuff transferred isn’t going to happen unless I feel like enjoying a three hour drive each way for appointments, with the exception of dialysis, which can be done at any hospital that’s in network without a referral or prior authorization.  This means the rest will have to wait until 2017 unless an emergency comes up beforehand.  With the holidays on the horizon, I’ll be shocked if Crohn’s fucks off for that long.  We (me+beantard) were also supposed to be paying attention to the alleged suspicious mass on my left kidney, but gourd-like MC aorta took center stage.  Always trying to outdo me, that friggin’ guy.

4 thoughts on “Behold The Power of the Brown Eyes

  1. Makes me worried that your doctor will have an “issue” with your Ultram use at some time in the future. What would he hesitate to say in front of your mother? I dunno. Maybe you should ask him. What do they want to do about the alien living on your kidney? More tests? Biopsy?

    I’ve heard positive things about cannabis immersion treatments — that’s where you soak in cannabis for an hour every day. It’s supposed to change your DNA. It will heal you, or so they say. (Or the treatments might make you gay.) 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • You and me both. He fights with the pharmacy often because they keep changing the dispensing rules. Initially I was able to get enough to last 3 months, then they changed it to qty of 90 max, now it’s 60. So that’s about ten days worth if I were to actually take it as needed, rather than only when I’m about ready to amputate. I imagine it will continue to be reduced until it eventually won’t get renewed at all. Looking forward to it.

      I was tested for a benign tumor called a pheochromocytoma that can cause tachycardia, seemed like the best place to start. That was negative. Probably another ultrasound and a ct-ivp. Biopsy… maybe. I hope not. That shit smarts.

      Liked by 1 person

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