40 min. of ‘Bittersweet Symphony’

Hey der, hoomans.  I have missed you!  I’m in avoidance mode, wherein I ignore all people, whether or not I dislike them.  This is my default when I shut down, check out, give up, give in, and don’t courtesy flush.  Don’t take it personally, I still love you.

I was trapped in Harpy hell longer than I wanted because I had to look after my perfectly self-sufficient, albeit terrified, Manchild.  She had me stay two extra days so she could work on the other house.  I promised my assholes that I’d get their new network sorted out and wipe my Mom’s old computer so they can get rid of it.  I just arrived yesterday evening, and with less than 24 hours from then until I have to be back south to Manchild-sit again, it likely won’t get finished.  At least the TV and DVR are on the network (after the remote decided to deprogram itself).  Those things are important in this house.  This constant shuffling around is wiping ME out.  Harpy gets upset when I leave since she’s incapable of seeing anything past the end of her nose.  She won’t “let” MC go anywhere, and it’s not out of concern.  She’s being possessive and he’s allowing it.  She claims he’ll get worn out if he stays at my parents’ house with me for a few days, yet she’s the one dragging him to all sorts of family functions.  We don’t have those here.  They sit on their rear ends and drool in front of the TV most of the time.  Ah, retirement.

I’m beyond perturbed.  Surprise, surprise.

Guess what?  If something happens to MC, the only thing I can do is call 911.  Would it be nice if, after his death, he won’t sit there festering in his purged bodily fluids for two days?  Sure, but no one extended that courtesy to me when I was critically ill.  I seem to remember almost begging him to come home from ROK a few months early, but “that requires too much paperwork.”  I’m so glad I’m worth the five minutes it takes to fill out a hardship request.

If something happens to MC (dissection or rupture), he’s fucked anyhow.  Thus, it doesn’t matter where the fuck I am.  My dog had the decency to attempt to die while I was out of town, but my parents called me to let me know she was on her way out, so I sped home and was with her as she struggled to take her last breath.  Fuck all that.  If he dies, he can do it while I’m on the toilet, or an hour away.  I’m not watching that shit.  I may have liked the dog better than him, at least that’s the way it feels since she never spent hundreds of dollars on pointless shit that’s cutting into funds for lodging, travel, FOOD, and my dental shit.  It’s okay.  I don’t want to go to the dentist anyhow.  Now I’ve got an excuse.

I’ve mentioned all of the things I hate about the Harpy nest, possibly to include that it’s fucking freezing in there and the room I sleep in smells like garbage and it gets down into the upper 50’s at night since there’s no insulation.  Do you know how difficult it is to get out of bed when all of your joints are frozen?  Oh, and then walk down two sets of stairs to park myself next to the smelly bunghole for the day.  Stairs that aren’t level and are treacherous to navigate even when you can feel your feet.  Wouldn’t you know it, I’ve already fallen down them.  My knee went crrrrunch as it hyperextended and twisted in an unnatural way.  Skills.  Many hurts.

I should be much more zen while staying in a house that’s all one level, is a comfortable 72 degrees and Harpyless.  Should be, but I’m not.  I don’t want nunna this keeee-rap.

I set my alarm for 8am hoping to start work on the prehistoric PC and hit snooze for 40 minutes.  The alarm tone is Bittersweet Symphony.  It’s possible I need something more obnoxious and grating to get me out of bed.  Was I ready to get up at 8:40am?  Fuck no.  Am I looking forward to my trip back to hell?  Fuck no, ’cause it’s a bittersweet symphony, this life.

14 thoughts on “40 min. of ‘Bittersweet Symphony’

    • In dreams, do you ever fall mouth first onto pavement and knock all of your teeth out? Or get a mouthful of hair that tangles itself around my teeth, then I have no choice but to knock my own teeth out. So much fun! There’s a reason I haven’t gone for actual dental work in over a decade, though I’m sure it’s not as legitimate as your reason.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Gurl I feel your pain…
    You so need a vacation…
    I used to hate the dentist but I go to the school they base it off income and has saved me a lot of cash..I just went last week and got accepted again so now the rest of my teeth will be worked on ..the regular dentist wanted like 7000.00 to work and fix where at the school it will still be a chunk of money but not near and they make you feel very comfy…maybe look into a school to get some work done??? you know after you knock out your own teeth lol…
    hang tight gurl

    Liked by 2 people

    • I think most of us could use a break! My dental insurance stinks. It only covers cleaning and x-rays, everything else is cost share. It was over 2.5k to get my wisdom teeth extracted, not counting the ER trip to get antibiotics because the fucking things were impacted and infected before they got yanked. Oral surgeon said, “oh, it’ll clear up on its own.” Ha, right. Superdouche. My dad has to take valium before his dental appointments, which is a fantastic idea. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • Gurl I believe that you said it perfectly lol…I know that I could sure use one…lol…
        The dental school at the university doesn’t take insurance or anything but cash…you fill out a small form they take you back and look at your medications and health and you get a yes or no… Please look into it gurl…it has saved me every city has one… you may have to be put on a wait list or wait for the next step like me waiting for the grad student to call me and set up a time and day to meet and go over what I want done then the next visit should be the operation…
        wow I have never heard of a dr saying a infection will clear up on its own lol..sounds like we have the same bad luck but I believe you have it much worse and I don’t know how in the fuck that you do it all gurly gurl…hats off to you …you are a true saint lol..
        That is a great idea I have xanax and will keep this in mind…when I was at the obgyn getting 2 biopsy done they prescribed me 0.25 mg of xanax I didn’t even bother to fill it not that lil dose lol…as she wrote it out when I asked how painful this was going to be and she stated oh we will give you a nice cocktail and you will be ok just a lil cramping…MY FUCKING AZZ TOO…and I even took a full 1mg xanax that I had…that shit hurt and she was only suppt to do it once but she said she wanted a sample from the other side…I just love being a gurl…lol…
        I should know more on what the labs say and what they are going to do next about my left breast and you know down there lol..so just a lil scared and worried due to family history…
        So anyways when are you going to be able to be at your own home alone lol… or half way alone lol..and on your terms…

        Liked by 1 person

        • Ugh, snatch quacks are the Masters of understatement. I had a few biopsies and an ecc a couple of years ago. “Just take some advil” uh huh, sure. I needed a fire extinguisher…pants on fire. I hope your crumb catchers are okay! Keep me posted, m’kay?

          Liked by 1 person

          • Gurly Gurl you just made my dad lmao…
            I am glad that you can relate to all this …Yes you are right on all that you said..lol…It hurt so bad that I thought that I was going to scoot my azz all the way pass my head …
            Well I was suppt to have gone to the Dr for the labs and special mam results today but since they were not all in I will see that Dr next Monday and the obgyn on Wednesday and thank you for listening to me and being here for me…It means a lot and yes of course I will keep you updated
            m’kay lolol…
            Hope today is treating you better???…


  2. Gaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh a waking nightmare😲

    I don’t know what to order you….standard orders won’t work for your case. Let’s see, I’ll start.
    1. Admit to Respite World
    2. No Family Contact except by specific patient request
    3. Full Grounds Pass with mobility assistance as needed (Hummingbird, Butterfly, Rose Garden, Arboretum, Aviary, Petting Zoo, and may keep own lizard in her suite)
    4. Patient is to have full control over everything in her life.
    5. Patient may check out anytime she likes, but she can never leave….
    (Signed, &c…)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ah, Fuck. Fuck it all. In my dental nightmares I’m stuck on the Titanic and I have to spit out all my teeth into the hands of a Japanese schoolgirl. My wake up tone is the ‘duh-duh-duh duh’ bit from the Proclaimers ‘500 miles’ over and over and over…

    Liked by 1 person

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