Cookie got run over by a Zamboni

I escaped Harpy hell for the holiday, hooray!  My sister may not be an evil, manipulative turd of the devil, but she is a distant second in the peskiness department.  It’s rather typical.  My sister annoys me.  I’ll be long gone before I snap and yell at her so I consider this part of her Christmas gift.

Is it wrong that I’m a part of Christmas when I don’t believe in anything but the power of cookies?  It seems I’m an atheist surrounded by the God squad – my family and his.

Ah, cookies.  I wore pajamas all day and tried to find recipes for snickerdoodles and molasses cookies similar to my own recipes that I  have stashed away back in Maryland.  The oven here is finicky and the bakeware is sub par.  I overcame the odds and made a halfway decent batch of caramel stuffed snickerdoodles, gluten free of course.

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My claim to cookie baking fame is my ginger-molasses cookies.  I’ve made them for holiday parties and even a couple of baby showers for about six years.  It was a recipe pulled from the internet, then tweaked until it was a beast of its own.  My beast.  The base recipe doesn’t seem to exist anymore and my memory is shit.  I picked a random recipe from the internet and hoped for the best.

Thhhhhpt….

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These cookies were for MC.  He wants two dozen because MY ginger-molasses cookies are his favorite.  Think these count as two cookies?  Only 23 to go.  Damn yous, internet.  I wasted a cup and a half of Kerrygold on these awful things.

I mixed up another batch of dough from a different source that’ll sit in the fridge over night to be baked tomorrow.  I’m doing this for him even after drafting a rage against the MC post (I want to flick him really hard in the ear).  Merry Christmas, asshole. 😀

Happy day to those who believe in this stuff, and happy day to those who don’t.  Whatever you believe, or don’t believe, I believe you should have a cookie today (or a dozen) because you deserve it!

10 thoughts on “Cookie got run over by a Zamboni

  1. Hahaha! I hate it when that happens 😠😂

    I don’t do xmas. I used to love Yule, back in my pagan days…bringing the outside in, decking the halls, all that kind of stuff. And roast beast with Yorkshire pudding! And wassail, or however the fuck you spell it.

    Now I do Hanuka in the fashion of the Eastern Kabbalists. I love the symbolism. Unfortunately I’m not much of a godly person, but I like the fire and the poetry.

    Your snickerdoodles look yummy! Is that a cross between a Snickers bar and a poodle? 😆

    Liked by 3 people

    • I enjoy twinkle lights. They’re especially nice in places that don’t get much winter sun, like Alaska and the shithole state I’m in. Otherwise, I do Christmas because everyone else does…not happily, most of the time.

      I learned that the Anglo-saxon translation of Mistletoe is “shit on a stick”. That’s how mistletoe was planted on tree branches, by birds dropping their seedy loads mid-flight. How can a person resist kissing under the shit stick?

      Haha, poodles are very sweet and tender this time of year.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy…Festivus (ugh…don’t get me started on the Seinfeld). I quietly celebrated the solstice by myself and am managing to fake it through Christmas pretty believably, at least as much as the kids still believe in Santa. If I could, I’d send you and MC a big ol’ box of ginger molasses cookies I would since ours turned out about near perfect (cookies were about all that did this year) and the recipe makes 5 dozen. I haven’t had a cookie yet but I got forced some spaghetti with maple syrup so that must count for something. I truly hope you can enjoy some time away from the Harpy beast and that your new batch of cookies works out a little less…zambonied. If the MC is still being an asshat just roll em in salt instead of sugar or something, at least you can get some entertainment out of the faces he’d make!

    Liked by 1 person

    • LOL, that would be entertaining. Whoa, spaghetti with maple syrup sounds good. Butter too? Pillsbury makes a gluten-free all purpose flour mix that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg and tastes pretty darn good. I’m excited with how well the snickerdoodles turned out. The GM cookies were plain old wheat flour because they were for the boy, so I may have to attempt to make a batch for myself using the new flour. I loves me some molasses cookies. I hope you and the fam had a fun Christmas and that you get a break from your superwoman duties (doodies) soon. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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