When Kara hits her limit

I ate a bunch of cookies last night before bed hoping to push myself into a carb coma so I’d get a little sleep before my 5:45 AIS (ass in seat) this morning.  I was indeed very sleepy, but rather than sleeping, any bit of peristalsis caused me to regurgitate food from hours before.  Around 2am, I still hadn’t slept.  By then my guts were spazzing so hard, my bladder was getting it’s ass kicked and I felt like I was going to pee all over myself.  I got up to go and I swear to god, no more than two drops came out.  I got out of bed for that?  That’s some bullshit, bladder.

By 3am, my intestines were so goddamn sore I felt like I was being kicked in the gut.  This hasn’t stopped yet.  I was sitting in the lab waiting room crying (just a little) because I’d had it.  The bathroom has a peanut gallery every time I go in there to release the bloody death.  I’ve started apolozing as soon as someone walks in.  It’s worse than roadkill on a 95 degree day.  At least it didn’t start until we were already here.  Look on the bright side, right?  Now, if it stops before we’re back on the road for another 2.5 hours, it’s my lucky day.
I hate crying in public and hate crying in front of FIL even more.  “What’s wrong with you?  It’s not like you just had open heart surgery.  It can’t hurt that bad.”  Yeah.  Thanks for that.

MC was cleared to GTFO and we’re heading home Friday morning with two vehicles and without Harpy.  A special thanks to my pipes for ruining my happy buzz.

7 thoughts on “When Kara hits her limit

    • His Dad is driving one of the cars, hopefully the Volvo. There’s no way in hell everything will fit into the Taurus and Golf. As for my butt, I haven’t been able to find adult diapers that are small enough and kid’s training diapers are too small. Damn hips. You can design some to go along with the Schulman shit containment system, whaddya say? I put in a refill request for more lomotil. Between that and Dilaudid, maybe I’ll have a fighting chance. Not eating is also an option, but I get so hangry.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Be The Penguin 🙂

    “Once a year, penguins experience a catastrophic molt. (Yes, that’s the official term.) Most birds molt (lose feathers and regrow them) a few at a time throughout the year, but penguins lose them all at once. They can’t swim and fish without feathers, so they fatten themselves up beforehand to survive the 2–3 weeks it takes to replace them.”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I recognize that waiting room! I work at the main campus and get all my care there.
    I’m so sorry that your guts are being stupid. The only thing I can relate with is what happens to me after I eat gluten (I actually have celiac disease, not just a fad diet for me.) It’s truly horrific what comes out of me when that happens…I hope you get home all right.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I love this hospital! The radiology departments are a little disorganized, but everything else has been awesome. I’ll be sad to go back into the military health system.

      My initial diagnosis was celiac disease. The blood test was positive but when I had my upper endoscopy, the biopsies were negative. Whew. I very recently eliminated gluten and I find that it does help quite a bit. I think gluten intolerance is common in Crohn’s as well, granted I’m sure it doesn’t shred my guts to the same extent as it would yours. Bowel issues are crappy. 😎

      Liked by 2 people

      • Wow, that’s interesting that your biopsies were negative. So you probably have NCGS (non-celiac gluten sensitivity, which is now actually recognized as a real thing, haha.) It took about two years after going on a GF diet for my guts to heal themselves; at least that’s when I started being able to gain back some of the 18ish lbs I lost prior to figuring out the diagnosis. Yes, bowel issues are definitely poopy! (Lol, we could go on for days with that joke.) 😝

        Liked by 1 person

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