Breathe, keep breathing

First, some chill-out music.

Are we relaxed now?  If you’ve been reading the news today or in the past week, nothing is going to help.  I’m sorry.

This week…Ho-ly shit.  Too much.  Way too much.  Crazy.  Insane.  Ludicrous.  Absurd.

It has been one fucking thing after another, although they (the evil collective) did technically save my life.  Had I waited until the next morning to go to the ER or clinic, I’d be dead.  There’s no way to sugarcoat it.  That scary arrhythmia we (me and the civet in my pocket) were trying to avoid?  It happened.  Twice.  Being adept at dissociating is definitely working in my favor.

Unfortunately, something else breaks every time something is fixed.  Ever worked on a rusty engine?  Yeah, it’s like that.  Bolts are breaking off left and right.  I feel about 10 times (times another 500 gajillion) worse now than I did and I almost regret my decision to preserve myself.  I guess a complete tear-down was in order and that’s the only way I’ll eventually improve.  It’s going to be an extremely long process.

The problem with hospitals is that they won’t let just anyone jump off of the roof for a nice face-plant into the pavement.  Too much time and money is wrapped up in me already.  It’d be such a waste. 😆



3 thoughts on “Breathe, keep breathing

  1. Geez woman!! … I’m glad you are where you need to be to get fixed (????) … but that was a bloody close call don’t you reckon!!?? Please mend … virtual hugs, love and light sent xoxox

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, my dearest ME. ❤

      Yeah, had I gone to my usual hospital I don't think I'd be so (un)fortunate. I'm trying to figure out how to explain all of the shit that has gone down without being long-winded, but it's like trying to fit an elephant into size 00 skinny jeans. Haha.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Long winded is good … shit, I don’t mind anyways! But, I’d advise saving your breath – please … and get it out in dribs and drabs.
        And thats a very amusing mental picture … elephant into skinny jeans LOL.
        Please rest up xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

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