I’m an alien!

I’ve got problems.  I know you’re thinking “no shit…”, but these problems have me convinced that I was once two different creatures who were split in half, then glued together.  When combined, this gnarly beast known as a Kara was created.

The right side of my body does not belong to me.  My face is not remotely symmetrical, my right leg is longer than my left, I have an extra rib plus one extra long free rib on my right side, my right hip and knee joints are lax, and the right side of my sacrum is fused to the vertebra above it.  Nevermind that my right kidney is larger, my right ovary decided to explode, and my right side is where my guts like to disintegrate.  I could get into how my boobs are different sizes, but that’s normal for everyone, so I’ve been told.

Either I’m a conjoined twin or I’m an alien.

If I’m an alien hybrid, well, this makes perfect sense!  It would explain all of my space dreams and why I was green!  As I’ve aged, I’ve become more of a bright white/ashy yellow.  Am I morphing into a grayling?  Only time will tell.

 

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Proof as old as the internet

 

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Emitting Martha Stewart’s favorite color

 

 

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“mirror mirror on the wall, do I really have to conquer all?”

 

I rest my case.

Happy April 1st, Earthlings! 😉

 

 

9 thoughts on “I’m an alien!

  1. Ah ha! Your right side matches my left side. Seriously, for me everything is on my left. My left hip was replaced, I have these weird bumpy not smooth and straight ribs on my left and even my brain tumor is on my left side!

    Liked by 1 person

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