Brain, Meet Spine

giphy

It starts with the brain.  My brain controls all of my voluntary actions, such as walking, sighing, talking, reading, stifling a fart, etc.  My brain is a thing of wonder.  I don’t realize this until I’m asleep and dreaming – the way it processes the world around me when it’s unleashed and not bound by logic.  Sure, it can be a huge dickhead a lot of the time but I don’t seem to hate myself when I’m dreaming.  This must mean I’m making a conscious effort to convince myself that I suck.

Okay, so my brain is attached to my spine.  This is how my brain relays the messages to my various parts to walk, sigh, read, stifle a fart, etc.  What happens when there’s a fray in the connection?  It’s a lot like trying to function as though your body is made of rubber with no sturdy scaffolding underneath.  Legs swing outward, feet drag on the floor, shoulders get rammed into doorways, talking becomes slurred, eyes bounce around like rubber balls.  Typing is more like filling out MadLibs.  My brain tells my fingers one thing and they’re like, “Nah, thi-sh will sound better.  Trus-ht meh!”

My entire body is drunk.  My legs are drunk, my face is drunk, my eyes are drunk.  The only thing that seems to be working normally today is my brain (eh, normal for me anyhow).  As fun as this might be to watch, at least I assume it MUST be since I’m a constant source of laughter for MC, it’s completely bizarre to experience.  I’m a brain in a useless vessel.

Brain, please make nice with spine.  I’m not looking forward to falling down the stairs or, shit, tripping over myself while walking across the room.  You two have had your fun.  It’s time to settle the fuck down!

 

 

3 thoughts on “Brain, Meet Spine

  1. Yah, well, I don’t “like” this, even though I “liked” it. Can you use a cane, or is it just one more thing to get tangled up with? Sometimes I do better with a cane because it forces me to go even slower, instead of thinking that the mere intention to do something will actually make it happen, like in the olden days.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I often feel like Gumby. And how you describe, but it’s from my ears, not my brain. Yours sounds scarier. I know mine won’t hurt me. Just make me puke. Funny how that happens. I have motion sickness without actually moving. I’m talented.
    So Brain and Spine, make nice. Play well together.
    And smack MC. No laughing. It’s not allowed.
    And, what Laura said. Will a cane help? I use a walker when I’m really wonky. Has saved me from many a face plant.

    Liked by 1 person

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