Meet Broad bean.
Broad bean is a substantial and substantially insulated legume. Broad bean needs to lose 25 pounds, his doctor says so. Broad bean overheats easily, thanks to his bean blubber. Broad bean wants to keep the house at 68 degrees at night.
Meet String bean.
String bean is a lean bean. String bean needs to gain 25 pounds, her doctor says so. String bean despises heat and she also despises being refrigerated at night. String bean’s ideal 24-hour temperature is a constant 73 degrees.
Broad bean and string bean share a house but sleep in separate pods. There’s a conflict at the beanery that involves a bean sneaking downstairs to adjust the thermostat, then the other bean tiptoes down the stairs to put the thermostat back to its proper setting of 71 so the second floor of the beanery will be a perfect 73.
Broad bean can do this routine all night long without actually waking up. String bean is wide awake and is losing patience.
After string bean’s third trip down the staircase of death, she burst into broad bean’s room, flipped on the light, opened both windows, turned off the light, mumbled a few nasty words, then slammed the door.
String bean found the big brain she has in her tiny bean body. She knew the temperature outside was 62 degrees. Just open a fucking window.