Broad bean vs. string bean

Meet Broad bean.


Broad bean is a substantial and substantially insulated legume.  Broad bean needs to lose 25 pounds, his doctor says so.  Broad bean overheats easily, thanks to his bean blubber.  Broad bean wants to keep the house at 68 degrees at night.


Meet String bean.


String bean is a lean bean.  String bean needs to gain 25 pounds, her doctor says so.  String bean despises heat and she also despises being refrigerated at night.  String bean’s ideal 24-hour temperature is a constant 73 degrees.


Broad bean and string bean share a house but sleep in separate pods.  There’s a conflict at the beanery that involves a bean sneaking downstairs to adjust the thermostat, then the other bean tiptoes down the stairs to put the thermostat back to its proper setting of 71 so the second floor of the beanery will be a perfect 73.

Broad bean can do this routine all night long without actually waking up.  String bean is wide awake and is losing patience.

After string bean’s third trip down the staircase of death, she burst into broad bean’s room, flipped on the light, opened both windows, turned off the light, mumbled a few nasty words, then slammed the door.

String bean found the big brain she has in her tiny bean body.  She knew the temperature outside was 62 degrees.  Just open a fucking window.

12 thoughts on “Broad bean vs. string bean

    • Danke, they’re fairly accurate. He’s derpy and I’m pissed off (hovering on a fart cloud because I don’t have legs). 😉 I’m​ finally able to write legibly now but drawing…eh.

      How do you get your mankid to submit to your total domination over the thermostat? I need to learn that trick.


  1. I’m the hot one at night. Hubby uses more blankets. But really I think he gets hot too, he just won’t admit it.
    Living with my wacked out temperature system, it’s a wonder the man doesn’t go insane. Hot flashes makes for a fickle girl.
    The man doesn’t mess with the woman in menopause.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hahaha, he’s smart! I went from roasting to freezing. There’s no such thing as being comfortable! With the AC blasting, I’m getting brain freeze headaches/migraines and refuse to cover my head because…uh…dutch oven. ahem. 😡 (Someone way smarter than me suggested I wear a hat to bed but then I get too hot pffft)

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dutch oven…snort.
        In the winter I’ll sometimes wear a hat to bed. I also find it helps to put on a hat when I have a migraine. I think my head needs a hug.
        On a side note….just wait for hot flashes, then you will never be comfortable. 😉


  2. I’ve recently learned that sleeping with a heating pad at my feet gets me warm enough to fall asleep, and if I wake up cold after the safety timer shuts it off, I just turn it back on. With a memory foam mattress that holds heat, I can get and stay quite cozy most nights.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ah ha! That might be HIS issue. We have a memory foam topper on the mattress in the master bedroom. I can’t even sleep in that bed anymore because I remember feeling suffocated and overheating.

      Liked by 1 person

Talk to me, Goose!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s