Oy, will someone please knock me out? That way I can be worthless without being cognizant of how worthless I am.
I have a very small list of things I need to do before Thursday. It shouldn’t be a big deal if I spread it out over the next few days. After realizing the rate at which I’m completing my tasks, the rate at which various body parts are becoming injured by doing things they’re SUPPOSED to do, I’ve had to totally recalibrate my list and future sleeping arrangements.
I cleaned out the lizard tank today, then put it up on a shelf in the office. My back went out in the process, thus a clean lizard tank is the only thing that will be getting done today and possibly for the foreseeable future. This, after my hip (or colon, or kidney? fuck if I know) kept me up all of Friday night with its bitching, then my knee notified me this morning that I shouldn’t plan to do stairs today unless I want to break my face on the floor at the foot of the stairs. My face looks better where it is rather than becoming a schmear on the floor, so I complied.
What the fuck happened to me? When did my warranty run out? I need a complete hardware rebuild.
I know it’s ridiculous to dissociate from my faulty parts, then pick fights with them but damn it, this is ridiculous.
I have this to say to all of my broken parts: FUCK YOU. I feel better now and that’s the whole point of treating these broken parts as separate entities. I benefit from cursing at myself. Cursing, in general, has a way of making me feel better no matter what the situation. Never underestimate the power of naughty words.
As I was sorting through the junk in the office earlier, I found my box of earplugs. This discovery will solve a few problems. Snoring, coughing, and distant screeching will be sufficiently muffled. That’s a huge relief.
All I have left to do is move out of the guest bedroom, make the bed and clean the bathroom. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. Maybe. Nope. Fuck it, Harpy can do it.