Thhhhhhhhhpt (deflating)

I’ve been walking around with my chest puffed out like a pissed off turkey while doing battle with the monster who stayed in my house for eleven days.  Now that she’s gone, I can finally go back to being my normal, disgusting and deflated self.  By disgusting, I mean it’s 3:30, I’m still in my pajamas (per normal Kara protocol) and my gourds are free to flap in the wind (under my shirt, as I’m obviously not a nudist).

I’m reducing my pain medications (I’ll finish up that post later) and it’s interesting to me that I have pain that I was never aware of because while the pain medication reduces the moderate to severe pain, it eradicates the mild pain.  Today I noticed that it hurts to breathe deeply and I’m walking more stiff-legged than usual because my leg and hip muscles and joints are sore.  This is generally when I’d pop a couple of ibuprofen and call it a day.  The only problem is when I admit to a doctor that I’ve taken Advil, it feels like I’m four years old again and being reprimanded for flooding my bookshelf by filling a shoebox with water and baby powder.  It was cool.  The powder floated on top and looked like seafoam.  My toys enjoyed swimming in the powdery-fresh ocean.

Anyhow, ibuprofen is forbidden and has been for….er – about five years.  Tylenol is also a no go because my liver enzymes spike in protest even at lower doses.  As you may have guessed, the gnarly pain that I’ve been taking the ‘stronger’ stuff for has also gotten worse so I’m back to alternating between heat and ice and not moving around as much.  That’s probably a good thing, for now.  Not the pain, obviously, but that the pain is forcing me to rest.

It’s nice to have my house back.  Now I need to figure out how to bewitch the vacuum cleaner and bedding so I can move back into my bed.  She dropped her nasty hairs everywhere.  Super fine blonde things that stick to everything like she’s a cat (that may explain her personality somewhat – no offense to amiable kitties).  I shed hair by the fistful and my own hair doesn’t bother me unless it gets stuck in my buttcrack.  Blech.  I’m comfortable with my cooties but not with hers.  I don’t want any evidence that she was ever here.  Burn the place down!  I kid.  Maybe.

This coming week will be busier than I’d like.  Really, I’d like to do nothing for a while.  A month, a year, a decade…the longer, the better.  MC and I both have cardio appointments on the same day – mine on Tuesday morning, his in the afternoon.  That should be exciting. *yawn*

13 thoughts on “Thhhhhhhhhpt (deflating)

  1. First….she’s gone and you survived. And so did she…ha!
    I thought I was the only one who had their hair end up in their butt crack.
    I had to tell Stuart that part. He laughed and said you are just like me! Awesome.
    Make MC clean up after his mother, I mean really. I know, getting him to grow up and be responsible is not going to happen. I blame Harpy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well done You!!! 🙂

    Interesting re Ibuprofen … they still pump that here … in fact they regularly prescribe it to the partner, even though he has asthma!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. When I mixed baby powder and water, I made a thick paste, dyed it pink with an ibuprofen tablet and then let it set in a tray. I was older than I should have been. When I was cleaning out my Mum’s beauty products (she bought loads and used none) I squeezed the contents (creams, serums, foundation…) into an old ice-cream tub and froze it. It’s still there. Make the male clean up his Mum’s foul nest.

    Liked by 1 person

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