This is the best time of year, second only to Fall.  The days are warm and the nights are cool.  Despite being violently allergic to grass pollen (shit, who am I kidding – any kind of pollen), I’m really digging sleeping with the windows open.  Whether it’s 60 out at night, or 38, that ozonic smell of fresh air helps me sleep like a squishy rock.

Save for the occasional helicopter or jet flying overhead, it’s relatively quiet at night unless they happen to be doing jet engine tests at 1am.  That’s completely unnecessary, assholes.  I wonder if anyone has mentioned this to them?

You know what else are assholes?  Birds.  And squirrels.  But I’ve already waged a long-term war on the squirrels so now I must shift my focus to the two plucky bastards who decide to start screaming at each other at 11:59 pm every damn night.  They’re confuzzled robins who must think a street lamp is the sun and that they must vocally defend their turf.  As quiet as it is without the hum of traffic a half-mile to the South, this chirping flicks me right in the eardrums and makes my entire spine twitch.

I mentioned I found my earplugs a few weeks ago which is an obvious solution, only the noise in my head is too loud and I still can’t sleep.

“What do you mean, ‘the noise in my head is too loud’?”

The whoosh of my pulse, the rattling of my sinuses, how deafeningly loud it is when my pillow shifts under my ear.  Yes.  Earplugs amplify the sounds that are in and close to my head.  Fucking noise.  Before you tell me I have problems, I’m acutely aware that my brain is wonky.  Sound sensitivity, sensitivity to smells and an off flavor to anything I pretend to eat.  My brain is a cockwomble.

I need a sensory deprivation tank to drown myself in.  Sleep is precious and sleep is important.  Those zealous nightsong twittering asshats might find themselves being stalked by some crazy person who decides to shoot pellets into their tiny bird bungholes.  I don’t know who would do such a heinous thing but I hope the person in question does it soon.

12 thoughts on “Nightsong

  1. I know of someone else who is being terrorized by birds. I don’t know why they would think the middle of the night is a good time to be awake. Silly birds. it’s times like that, that make me glad I’m deaf. Hahaha I get the noises in your head. I get very sensitive to sounds when I have a migraine. and I have tinnitus, talk about noises in your head! I hope you can get some sleep soon. If not, I think I have a hammer….well that would be for you. I don’t have a gun for the birds. darnit. Maybe I could use the hammer on them….hmmm.
    I love your tags. Karaisms, life, Ranty-pants, sensory clusterfuck, sleep…. I can see someone searching for ranty-pants and sensory clusterfuck. but you didn’t mention annoying ass birds.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh wow, tinnitus is so annoying. I’ve been trying to figure out the note of my ringing ears, but it’s obvious that it’s more than one. Total dissonance. I’d love to be able to turn my hearing down just a smidgen sometimes. My father-in-law takes his hearing aids out when he gets tired of listening to Harpy. He just sits there and nods but can’t hear a single word she says. She doesn’t even notice his ears are missing…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh Kara, I’m so glad I’ve learned not to drink when I’m reading your comments, I would have spit all over my computer. I LOVE that he takes his hearing aids out, but more so, the fact she doesn’t know!! OMGOSH
        I don’t take my ears off for much, but crying babies will do it every time. Yes! I never have to hear crying babies or screaming children. Haha
        Oh, I do take them off when S and I argue. It’s the ultimate, “I can’t hear you. Lalalala”
        My ears make so many noises. It used to bother me much more than it does now. Until the Emergency Broadcast Signal shouts in my head. That’s annoying. … yeah that’s the word.
        Sending you silence

        Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s boiling here. I am a sneezing smelly puddle. And I hate the birds too. Nearly as much as I hate the rail network and whoever put in my shoddy windows. I like my shower and my unending bowls of cereal. These are my friends. I need a Mumu.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Huh, I just thought that was Me that happens too! It’s always been like that .. .and yes, when I put in ear plugs, it amplifies the sound in my head/ears … whatever … which is why I play music over the ear plugs … to drown out the sound of my own ears. So this is a thing???

    Solution to the birds: Slingshot!

    Liked by 1 person

    • We have loud brains. Gears grinding, steam building.

      MC is perfecting his pellet gun to dispatch a whole village of squirrels so if a bird happens to get in the way….well, damn. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Honestly, I can’t be around when the animals kick it. It makes me sad.

      There was a giant spider in the kitchen sucking on a tiny puddle of water on the floor the other day and I refused to kill it, then it went into hiding. Later in the evening it reappeared on the wall at eye level and scared the bejeezus out of me. MC came in, saw it, then went for the kill with a bottle of kitchen cleaner and I yelled, “Don’t kill Pete!” Naming him and claiming that he was my friend seemed like the best way to avoid the disgusting pop spiders make when they’re smashed. Pete was a loud one. Lots of guts. Totally brutal. Poor Pete.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Loud brains sounds like a decent diagnosis .. .sheer brilliance in there ๐Ÿ˜‰

        No i don’t like the death part either and prefer not to be around when it happens. I’m not the naming one though, the partner is. It’s no wonder we have spiders and critters everywhere too!

        RIP Pete ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

Talk to me, Goose!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s